The Hand that Rocks the Cradle...errr, I mean, The Bed

I came across this article towards the end of last week and quickly heaved a sigh of relief.

The first thing that came to mind was "Finally!"

In the Health section of New York Times, the column elucidates that co-sleeping - the term used for young children sleeping with their parents - is actually quite prevalent in the Western world than what was priorly reported. This finding arose from the fact that parents are not completely truthful about their children's sleeping habits, choosing to inform only the place where these kids start off the night - in their bed - but not where they likely to end up in the morning - their parents' bed.

Many parents are “closet co-sleepers,” fearful of disapproval if anyone finds out, notes James J. McKenna, professor of anthropology and director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame.

“They’re tired of being censured or criticized,” Dr. McKenna said. “It’s not just that their babies are being judged negatively for not being a good baby compared to the baby who sleeps by himself, but they’re being judged badly for having these babies and being needy.”

The negative perception attached to co-sleeping discourages, and even hinders concerned, well-meaning parents from revealing the whole truth, and nothing but the truth with respect to the sleeping arrangement in their households. They are afraid of being branded as incompetent caregivers for failing to follow the pediatrician's/medical experts' advice.

In the past, I have heard conflicting views about co-sleeping but the majority of them consider this practice to be counterproductive on the baby's health and/or development of healthy sleeping habits. While I agree that babies in general must learn to fall asleep on their own without the aid of soothers or nursing, I can't see the immediate, strong correlation between co-sleeping and raising a needy child. I believe every child has his or her own needy moments, regardless of what their parents claim to the contrary. Likewise, caring mothers are not exempt from experiencing to some degree a separation anxiety from their child in the different stages of their lives. As my take on an age-old adage clearly advocates: "To err is human, to be needy is to be maternal" :)

After Sadia's birth, I was mostly bedbound for the traditional 40-day postnatal confinement at my parents' house. So naturally my bambino lied on the bed with me for breastfeeding and cuddling purposes. The truth of the matter is we chose not to purchase a babycot because we're leaving for the Netherlands in the following four months after the baby's arrival. Or so we thought.

Thus, buying a mammoth-size crib which we would only be using for that brief timeframe seemed unpractical, nor was it financially prudent. Instead, we invested in a small, orthopedically-enhanced baby mattress and pillow which have become Sadia's staple everywhere we travel. Even to Gay Paree, her miniature sleeping set shared a place in our plush French provincial bed.

Much to our dismay, we only found out the postponement of hubby's Masters programme in early June, close to the planned departure date. By that time, it was too late to buy the proverbial babycot which I truly coveted.

In early September when we left for the Netherlands, we became so used with this type of sleeping arrangement that we really didn't think twice about getting a babycot. Also, the university-run apartment came equipped with a baby playpen which could double up as a sleeping place for Sadia. However, that thought proved to be only wishful thinking.

After a traumatic episode of Sadia falling off the bed in December 2006, I turned more protective and insistent on having her by my side than ever. Camping upstairs with minimal lighting to surf the Net and write my blog alongside a snoring Sadia while hubby worked on his thesis downstairs sums up our nightly routine for the most parts of our Dutch sojourn.

Now that we are back home for good, the cumbersome task of teaching Sadia to sleep in her own bed figures largely in our tiny universe. The longer and bigger she gets, the more pressing and imminent the move is. Granted, a gamut of issues run in our heads, from the placement, to the patterns and to the materials. Yet, the paramount of which is actually convincing Sadia to lie down and stay in bed for the whole duration of the night!

I know it'd be next to impossible for the time being, particularly when she has yet to be weaned off and is adapting to life in Malaysia. It's one thing to be uprooted from Delft and it's another to move to a different bedpost. Slowly does it...

Due to these circumstances, for the timebeing, I'm not complaining....well that much. As the writer succinctly ended her article,

“I can tell you with certainty,” he (her pediatrician) says, “that one day you will wake up, and she won’t be there.”

Sooner or later, Sadia will grow up, gladly move to her own bed, have sleepovers at her friends' place, go to college and finally fly the coop after getting married! So no need to fuss so much about what the 'medical community' in the West order you to do. They are not living under your roof!

Savouring (and enduring) this growing-up years encapsulates the motivation I hold in parenting my kid(s). True, she can be handful at times, but if my eldest sister and mother who each have five children can do it, mine should be a cinch! ;)