Kak Long, Che' Long

Besides celebrating the birthdays of Dave Matthews and AJ McLean (Backstreet Boys), January 9th marks the birthday of my eldest sister. As previously mentioned, she was born in the same year as me and my twin. My sister's cheerful disposition and air of nonchalance belie her age, not to mention, her slim figure.

Unlike my twin sister and younger sister, she and my brother follow my dad's side of the family - petite and small-framed. Growing up, Kak Long has always been the quiet and well-behaved (read: non-hyperactive) one of the siblings, staying at the sideline while my twin and I were up to our tricks, followed obediently by our younger sister. Hehe.

Kak Long chose not to tattletale on us when we oftentimes indulged in playtime horror (like letting a kid nextdoor cut our hair or mixing cheese slices with washing detergent in one of our 'cooking shows') but stood watchful and amused at the spectacle unfolding in front of her.

There was the time in secondary school when the three of us - 13-year-olds - joined 'Pengakap' (or Scouts) as part of the compulsory extra-curricular activities. Unbeknownst to us, she had a crush on one or two of the senior BOY scouts. Or when she was declared as an item with one boy, much senior than our age (hmmm, I can see a pattern here :) ). We only found out much later, after the fact. She's rather secretive when it comes to her personal lives, even back then, probably knowing quite well my parents' disapproval or that I would tell on her (which I won't ;) ). Or maybe both.

Kak Long's sprightly yet gentle approach with her peers and seniors, worked towards helping her to amass a great number of friends during high school. While I struggled with adolescent pangs, she strutted her no-holds-barred persona without a flinch and with a cinch. I was amazed by her confidence and genuine interest in the welfare of her fellow friends. Even when I sternly cautioned her to distance herself from some unsavoury characters in school who were walking all over her, she didn't seem to be bothered at all. It was infuriariting and beguiling at the same time. From what looks like a role reversal, I'd become the over-protective big sister.

In a sense, my eldest sister is still a mystery to me. An enigmatic one at that. She keeps her emotions bottled up and only when certain events transpired would we know the underlying motivations of her actions.

Her marriage at the age of 20 epitomizes the strongheaded yet reserved nature that is my sister. Deeply in love, she defied convention and resolved to tie the knot. The commotion of her early marriage almost impeded my short journey home from college to attend the wedding. She's the first one to be married and I was adamant to be a happy witness to this ceremony. After managing to schedule in a few days before finals, I made it to her blissful nuptials, sadly at the expense of scoring less than par in the exams. ;-)

Now, with five kids in tow, she still casts a youthful countenance and exudes an infectious warmth wherever she goes. Her determination to raise her kids right - tutoring them at home after school, sending them to tuition and the optional 'sekolah agama' (requisite Islamic-learning school), amongst others - pays off with well-mannered children and outstanding academic accomplishments. Also, when circumstances were not in her favour, she perseveres and always look at the bright side.

Looking back, Kak Long has always been there - waiting in the wings to offer a helping hand and to let me into her life - if only I pay close enough attention to the signs, gestures and nuances.

Kak Long is a contradiction in terms - she's a pillar of strength who, despite having to carry many burdens on her shoulders, still flashes her winsome smile and selflessly engages in her filial duties.

As we get older and become mothers ourselves, the importance of bonding with the family finally hit home, so to speak. We take more cognizant of our roles as mothers, daughters and sisters, and compare notes with one another on these disparate yet intertwined experiences.

Albeit two days late Kak Long, I would like to use this opportunity to express my gratitude for those advices, tips and pointers you'd gladly imparted on me. Hope you had a lovely day! Oh yeah, I will make sure Sadia call you Che' Long and not the old-sounding Mak Long, as you'd firmly requested. ;-)