Pregnancy Journal 3

I have planned to write the third installation of this pregnancy series today as I while away my weekend at home, but God in His Infinite Wisdom, has other plans.

Presently, I am writing from the Labour and Delivery Room (LDR) in the hospital as my water broke earlier this morning. At first, I had thought it was my bladder going awry since I never experienced a ruptured amniotic sac during the first pregnancy. When the water refused to let up, however, we decided it was time to head to the hospital.

After an extremely uncomfortable internal exam, I was told to walk around in order to let the labour progress faster. I did that for less than 10 minutes and the laptop beckoned.

So how has the third trimester been for me? Very, very exhausting to say the least.

The protruding tummy makes it hard to sleep, causing me some sleepless nights. And the extra heat from carrying a baby resulted in me breaking out in heat rashes on my stomach, upper arms, shoulders, neck and collar bone area. My linea nigra is, however, not as noticeable compared to the first pregnancy. On the other hand, my belly button has been pushed to its extreme limit that my ob-gyn even commented that it looks herniated!

As the baby grows bigger and turns into the head down position, I find myself walking slower as it becomes painful to move in that familiar hurried pace which I am used to. The loosening of the pelvic joints also contribute to the pain radiating from the nether regions.

Emotionally, I have been plagued with doubts over my ability to take care of a new baby and a toddler. I have been constantly tired and the prospect of having to fend for two children overwhelmed me. Do I have what it takes? I am afraid of becoming one of those angry parents who vent out on their kids when things go wrong in their lives.

I am also worried of the change in my relationship with my firstborn. But all these are to be expected. I know I should have covered all the bases when I first learned that I was pregnant. I am only human and tend to relapse when things get rough.

With my immediate and extended support system, I am reassured that things will fall into place, albeit one small piece at a time. There's no need to rush things. A lesson I have learnt well.

It is almost 20 minutes to 8 p.m. and the contractions have gotten stronger after a dose of pessarin tablets. I'd best concentrate on this pregnancy and recite some supplications. Oh Lord! Please give me the strength to go through this delivery smoothly and safely. Amin.