Pregnancy Journal 2

Written last Friday between 8:30 a.m. and 9:50 a.m, before I went to see the ob-gyn.


It has been a while since I put a pen to paper. The previous two entries won't count as they are merely fleeting surveys into my psyche (although I did spend a lot of time on the first survey).

I am writing while lying supine on this comfortable, cool bed as Sadia's light breathing and the revolving fan accompany my scribble. And yes, the occasional kicking in the tummy also punctuates the tranquility, so to speak. Sleep continues to elude me these past few weeks. Coupled with lethargy, the erratic mood swings and worrying undoubtedly bring on the insomnia. Thus, the reason for this belated rambling.

My gestation period has now entered its 23-week. The baby is thriving and so is this protruding body. For one, I cannot believe how large my belly has become. Secondly, I am almost reaching the weight that I was when I gave birth to Sadia! With 17-odd weeks to go, I must cut down the snacking - not that I snack frequently as attested by my hubby - and keep to my regular daily meals. Well, that obviously includes teatime. :)

I put down all the healthy weight to the fact that I am carrying a boy. Alhamdulillah. They say pregnant ladies tend to put on more weight when it's a boy. I take comfort in these words, despite its scant scientific backing. (Note: My doctor later informed that since I had conceived the baby at a higher weight vis-à-vis the first pregnancy, it's futile to make a comparison. :) )

I have to agree with another point - joining 'the pudding club' with a toddler in tow has its set of challenges. Particularly when you are a stay-at-home mother with no access to domestic assistance. There were times when I just want to nap my fatigue off, but my clingy tot insisted on playing with her. Sadia is the type who needs people to be around when she indulges on her toys. Save for those rare moments, she no longer naps in the afternoon which consequently takes a toll on my aching body. On the other hand, we have mulled the idea of pre-schooling to which Sadia is enthusiastic about. However, this fussy (not to mention, protective) mummy has yet to find one to her liking.

Once I had sat down with Sadia for a trial session in a preschool and witnessed the teacher roughly handled a four-year old. I recoiled at the thought of the same happening to my kid. The stern-looking teacher wanted the girl to form the shape of the letter B with her arm. When the girl became stiff and grew inattentive, the teacher got frustrated and, in an angry tone, swiftly flexed the girl's arm into action. Predictably, the girl cried much to the teacher's (feigned?) surprise, and she in turn tried her best to console the hapless girl. Probably her harsh demeanour brought me back to my former schooling experience, but the truth of the matter is I find her teaching method unpalatable.

Else, it is just my maternal instinct kicking which refuses to let my girl go after being under my care for so long. Let's just see how the other schools fare in my strict estimation.

As for me, the physical ailments such as nausea, dizziness and knee pain linger. The nausea, I notice, is usually triggered when I take my food late. The worst part of it is my flaring temper which seems to resurface every time I am tired. Naturally, I would feel awful afterwards when the storm has been unleashed. This pregnancy has so far taught me many unforgettable lessons on patience and controlling of emotions.

Lying sideways to the left, my eyelids have now become heavy. My little angel is still fast asleep. It's time to heed the body's call to recharge. Any spectre of worry that comes my way must wait. While it's true time waits for no man, life is what happens to you when you stop worrying.


p.s. It seems like this journal will be on a trimester-basis. For the first one, please go here : Pregnancy Journal 1.