Insomnia-Induced Idle Talk

*Sleep seems to escape my subconscious for the moment. It wasn't the coffee that's the culprit - that one I know for sure. It's probably the good old-fashioned worry that, to borrow Eliza Doolittle's expression, has done me in. On the other hand, it could be nothing more than hunger pangs that contribute to this insomniac episode. I remember my stomach growling as I turned in last night.

And this morning, still tossing and turning, I feel a hollowness deep inside the pit of my stomach. I was famished. For some reason, the Domino's New York Crust Pizza wasn't able to satiate my hunger. At a hefty sum, the extraordinarily thin crust screams rip-off to me.

With drowsiness miles away from my thoughts, it's best that I use the 'free time' to update a post. This past week has seen me reevaluating some aspirations that I've set for myself. Suffice to say, I have to be more pro-active in order to achieve them.

In the course of my 30-odd life, I have always been the over-analytical yet enthusiastic person. However, the eager beaver in me will slowly fizzle out at the strongest hint of betrayal or undue criticism. While I consider myself cautious when it comes to making new friends, I always have my gut instinct to round up the assessment. On the short-lived corporate front, I would rather have a clearly defined role at the workplace as opposed to become a master of all trades without any acknowledgment forthcoming from an aloof supervisor.

Becoming a full-time mother ever since I quitted my job in corporate affairs, I must say that motherhood has its own unique set of challenges. I was most fortunate to be able to make that transition with the help of an understanding and ever 'hands-on' partner who, I might add, was on a one-year sabbatical from work. (We were in the Netherlands for one year for hubby's Masters programme)

Though I contemplated coming back to work after we arrived home last year, the opportunity has yet to present itself insofar as I'd be able to leave Sadia in good, capable hands. My two-and-half year-old daughter is such a finicky eater that at times I am at wits' end trying to make her eat. Therein also lies one of my 'pro-active' pursuits. I have made an eating timetable that I hope to adhere to from now. And of course, there is the problem of weaning off that I have yet to decide on. Some people say that she'd eat more properly and heartily if I totally wean her off. All I can say is it's easier said than done.

Having a kid surely change one's world and not to mention one's mobility as far as nursing is concerned. But hey, who's complaining! Here's the lowdown on what it means to raise a baby/toddler without the help of a maid:

1. As parents, you can no longer afford to eat at a leisurely pace. Either you eat as fast as humanly possible or you chow down when the baby is asleep. In the case of Sadia, it doesn't help that her napping pattern has been haphazard at best. Else, an alternative is to take turns eating as one of you attends to the toddler's whims and fancies.


2. Stepping into a cinema is akin to a death wish when you are totting around an irascible tyke. Unless you book a whole auditorium to yourself to let the bambino run across the aisles, there is no conceivable way you are able to enjoy the silver screen with a screaming toddler on your face. The temporary solution for now is to heavily rely on DVDs - bootlegged or otherwise - as a form of escapism.


3. Toddler activities take precedence whenever you step out of the house. When you're on a shopping jaunt to a mall, always make sure the place has a decent toy store for the kid to let off steam. If you are out of reach of one AND an outdoor playground, please do not hesitate to use one of those coin-operated kiddy rides to get a moment of peace. Now you can relate to those parents who utilise these contraptions like crazy, unlike before when you look upon them with disdain for being so uncreative in entertaining their children. You know better now...


4. The television falls prey to a voracious tiny viewer who dictates which channels the parents would be able to watch. In this household, for instance, the default channel is PlayhouseDisney. Any attempt to change to another channel will be met with deafening shrieks that are out of this world.


5. However, fear not for sleep is the least of your concerns as you can catch up with your sleep either when the tot naps or by going back to bed after the other half leaves for work :) (Outside of your insomniac episodes, that is). Your partner, in turn, can replace his sleeping hours after coming back from work as long as the bambino is still napping. It's, more often than not, a win-win situation.

To say that your life changes once a baby enters the picture is in itself an understatement. He or she will demand your constant attention and reassurance when he or she goes through different stages of growth and development. Your old routine will be irretrievably gone, if not take a backseat to more pressing matters concerning your baby. Get used to it. Come to terms with it.

And most importantly, embrace it like you would cuddle your precious bundle of joy as if your life depends on it.


*Started writing on Saturday morning.