A Rose By any other Name would Smell as Sweet

When you were little, did you ever remember being taunted by other children because of your name?

Well, I do. It wasn't a taunt per se. It was more of a grating background noise - a kind of a predictable, familiar refrain - almost always initiated by some obtuse boys.

"Here comes the M.A.S." with their hands animatedly mimicking a swooshing action of an airplane. Darn it! That's the lamest joke ever, as I rolled my eyes inside my head.

It was fine the first few times. After the umpteenth time, the cries just became stale. Yes, I'm a MAS, as in our Malaysian Airline carrier. So what? A new joke, please!

Like the carrier, the origin of my first name - Mas - is acronymic in nature. It's the combination of my father's and mother's names respectively - Mohammad Ali and Suriati. Also, in keeping with my mom's name, my name ends with a TI as well.

In fact, all of us siblings, regardless of gender, have the prefix Mas for our names. As a result, I prefer that people don't call me by this name since it'd cause a confusion whenever a person calls our home number (before the advent of cell phones, that is) to talk to one of us. "May I speak to Mas please?" The classic "Which one?" would promptly be given in return.

Apart from that, ironically the girls' names in my family would have turned out to be similar if it were not for the ONE letter in our names that distinguishes us from the other. The said letters are D, N, Z and L.

Save for the airline jest, I'm happy with my name on the whole. I bet there won't another of me in this world and that is strangely a comforting thought for me.

My topical interest with names arises from this online article which concludes that a horrible name doesn't necessarily equate to a bad childhood; nor does it prevent a child from growing up normal.

As explicated by Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback in their book "Bad Baby Names", this finding quashes some decades-old research which have suggested that individuals with bad names, such as Golden Rule, Ima Hooker and Rasp Berry, are more likely to end up either in prison or in a nuthouse.

On the contrary, these people turn out to be pretty decent folks.

“They were very proud of their names, almost overly proud,” Mr. Sherrod said. “We asked if that was a reaction to getting pummeled when they were little, but they said they didn’t get that much ribbing. They did get a little tired of hearing the same jokes, but they liked having an unusual name because it made them stand out.”

My point exactly. The litany of tiresome jokes annoys me more than anything else.

Another interesting point to ponder revolves on the fact that a person's physical attractiveness does not correlate with the name assigned to them.

Once people could see a face, they rated an Oswald, Myron, Harriet or Hazel about the same as a face with a “desirable” name like David, Gregory, Jennifer or Christine.

Not surprisingly, those given such horrendous names normally come from a disadvantaged background in terms of either money or education or both.

Martin Ford and other psychologists reported, after controlling for race and ethnicity, that children with unusual names did as well as others in school. The economists Roland Fryer and Steven Levitt reached a similar conclusion after controlling for socioeconomic variables in a study of black children with distinctive names.

However, I take exception when it comes to Hollywood celebs who are notorious for giving their kids unusual names. Yes, they are unique but are they really desirable? Take for instance, Hazel and Phinnaeus, the twin daughters of Julia Roberts and, Apple Martin, the daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay's frontman Chris Martin.

Also, how about names that cross gender like Leslie, Alex and Drew? Will the person has any problem fitting in? According to the psychologists, apparently not.

“They (the researchers) haven’t found anything negative — no psychological or social problems — or any correlations with either masculinity or effeminacy. But they have found one major positive factor: a better sense of self-control. It’s not that you fight more, but that you learn how to let stuff roll off your back.”

Well, echoing the writer's (who had to endure playground taunts as a kid) skepticism on this point, it's always easier said than done. Naturally, some people refuse to own up that it had caused them a problem!

On the local front, cross-gender names like Naim, Nazrin, Adi, Fairuz, and Niza come to mind. I do wonder if they had to put up with similar ridicule growing up. And there are names assigned to men that are obviously female in our culture such as Laila, Azian and Ani. In these cases, as far as sexual orientation and level of masculinity are concerned, I must say the results are inconclusive.

Like the researchers, I do agree names are just that before we add a host of other information like a physical look, educational background, personality and recreational activities. People are more susceptible to those details (and what more, sleazy gossips!) than a mere 'undesirable' name.

With that thought in mind, this Mas is taxing, I mean signing, off.