Hartelijk Gefeliciteerd! *

From left: Nina and me (I think ;) )

It’s that time of the year again. No, it’s not Christmas, nor is it the New Year’s Eve.

Clueless still? It coincides with Winter Solstice, at least that’s what I told my would-be husband back then as a useful tip on how to remember my birthday. Oops, the cat is out of the bag. Hah!

Who am I fooling? It has been out ever since I unabashedly dropped hints here and there about the momentous occasion.

30-odd years ago, in the capital of Kelantan (a state in the East Coast of Malaysia), a set of (almost) bald twins entered the world five minutes apart from one another. The time was close to 7pm when the other half finally slid out of the canal. And that would be me. Hehe.

In the Malay tradition, it is commonly believed that the last one to exit the womb is actually the OLDER sister as she had kindly let the younger sister to go out first. I fervidly wish this is true, but I can bet that most people would agree I have the temperament of the younger one. Double hehe.

Also, according to my birth account, I was a songsang, or breech baby, which traditionally means I am endowed with magic fingers, at least as far as massaging is concerned. I want to believe this is real too and earn a profit on my tactile gift, not merely a ploy to massage relatives free of charge based on this non-scientific fact alone. Yet, I can vouch that some people, without even trying hard, make much better masseurs compared to my untrained hands.

Speaking of endowment, my twin sister is always known as the calm and collected half, whereas I am the klutz and scatterbrained one. My mother recalled that back in the primary school days, my twin always insisted her school’s shoelaces to be evenly tied by the former before she even dared stepping on school ground. As for me, I couldn’t care less about those details that clearly explains my relatively unkempt appearance. Even our penmanship – hers neat, mine illegible - gives us away. ;)

These outward differences stretched and expanded, literally and figuratively, into the secondary school (or high school) with me growing larger and geekier than her. I admit that I got jealous when she received the attention of some interesting people (well, at least they were interesting through my shallow, adolescent eyes), significant of which was a senior girl who took her as ‘adik angkat.’ The bespectacled, serious-looking me didn’t have any ‘kakak angkat’, nor did anyone want to be my ‘adik angkat’ and I felt terribly left out. (Well, Kak Muna was sort of a pseudo-Kakak Angkat but that’s another story).

But looking back, all this Kakak Angkat-Adik Angkat business, at least from my observation in boarding school, have more to do with popularity contest amongst my peers as opposed to genuine interest to develop real meaningful friendships. I could easily say that I’m bitter but to tell you the truth I have nurtured some friendships with people of varying ages post-secondary school, and we have been friends ever since. And the age gap has never been a problem as we’re mostly on the same wavelength, save for the occasional spats.

To my twin sister, I still carry that idealistic excesses that at times border infuriatingly on the naiveté. I am disinclined to think otherwise because as much like a leopard that can in no way change his spots, my gullibility has already become a second nature. I couldn’t rid myself of it despite my desire to see the world through a pair of more realistic lenses. That way, it wouldn’t hurt so much when the incongruities of life get to me.

Notwithstanding my seeming innocence, the two of us have always been, on some levels, a protector of one another, on issues ranging from education, health, friendship, money, marriage, to career. I still remember the time she treated me to a trip in Kota Kinabalu as our final getaway before she officially became someone else’s other half. Those carefree, light days invariably bring a smile to my face and remind me of what’s important in life.

As for our legendary series of fights, squabbles, miscommunications and everything in between, it is truly heartening, not to mention surprising, that we could look past all that and continually reinvent our relationship across numerous rites of passage. I could choose to harbor resentment for some of the angry words hurled at me (and vice-versa), but somehow the passage of time has softened the blow and deepened my longing to spend quality time with her.

My twin sister, Nina is a best friend that I could ever ask for. Come to think of it, she is my ONLY best friend – two words that I’d never lightly use. For someone who has two sisters her age and another sister two years junior, the need to crown somebody else as a best friend rarely crosses my mind. My other sisters would quickly beg to differ, I’m sure, citing the usual suspects of entrusting a third party with personal secrets, safekeeping one’s privacy and voicing age-specific concerns.

Breakfast time! Nina, Kak Long, me and Dikya

Few cherished close friends I may have but none singled out as the quintessential best friend just going by the route of certain indiscriminate criteria. Outside the family, the one person closely resembles a best friend is none other than my husband which must be one of the reasons why I wanted him as a life partner. So, my two best friends please play nice. :)

While my sister and I may not live under the same roof anymore, or hang out as often, my intuition tells me that we would always be there for each other for as long as there is a sky above our heads. Therefore, for my thirty-(cough) birthday, I’d like to acquit myself from harping on the past which can never be undone. Let’s accentuate on our positives, dear sister, for that’s what we Sadges do best!

Last but not least, in chronological order for the next four days, happy birthday today to cousin Lindsey in London, a Eid-ul-Adha Mubarak to fellow Muslims, a VERY happy birthday to me and twin, and happy birthday to cousin Arif in Sungai Buloh.

*That's Happy Birthday greeting in Dutch.

p.s. A Big Thank-You goes to Auntie Bae for the scanned photos!
p.p.s. For Birthday comics, please click here.