Che Guevera*

My soulmate turns 33 this Sunday.

Originally, I had wanted to publish this by the time the clock strikes 12 midnight on Sunday just for that obligatory, schmaltzy effect. Nevertheless, it is wiser to post it now lest some hiccups at the hotel might ruin this crucial timing altogether. Better be safe than sorry!

The term soulmate might induce some folks to either let out an incredulous snort or emit a barfing sound. But I think soulmate is the most apt description that I'd gladly confer my husband.

As I collected my thoughts to write down this entry, it dawned on me that I have known my husband for 15 years.

It was a scorching day in June 1992 when we arrived at the collegiate preparatory center in California under the wing of our respective government/semi-government sponsors (actually, my batch arrived two weeks earlier). 18-year-olds, fresh out of high school, the one-year programme entailed applying to universities of choice as well as sitting for exams - mock and real - such as TOEFL, CBAT and SAT.

According to the Language Centre Pacific ('LCP'), this programme was necessary since most U.S. universities or colleges do not recognise a five-year worth of secondary education like the one being practiced in Malaysia (In the U.S., students normally graduate from high school at the age of 18). I don't know whether that was a bunch of hokum but I was eager to learn what we already learnt back in Malaysia but now with English as the preferred medium.

Back then, my hubby and I were just friends. We were not even platonic friends - whatever that means. But somehow feelings developed along the years, in line with the amount of time we spent together. This was made possible despite attending different universities with Chicago, the Windy City witnessing our blooming pseudo-relationship.

Throughout the 'formative' years, we had known each like the back of each other's hands. We could finish each other's sentences and could, more often than not, accurately anticipate the other's next move. One of my friends even remarked, "He is very fond of you."

I was not sure if that was enough an incentive to move beyond our friendship. Nor do I have the audacity to risk it for something more...well, concrete. Young and alone, we had counted on one another - a helping hand, a listening ear, a sounding board - whilst away from our homeland.

Alhamdulillah, back in Malaysia, the present climate - work, disposable income and familial support - proved to be in our favour. Yet, circumstances became too complicated for us to stay together.

However, as the Malay adage goes, "Kalau ada jodoh, tak ke mana" (transliterated as "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be).

So you see, soulmates do not always equate to a smooth sailing courtship. Sometimes you need time-off to figure things out. Or to grow up. Or to realise what really matters in life.

The 15-year long of friendship-turn-relationship-turn-nuptial is filled with many unforgettable memories that teach both of us about humility, tolerance, compromise, communication, trust and above all respect.

My hubby is a witty (or sarcastic, take your pick :D ) sort of fella, a man of few words and a jack of all trades. These trades are best exemplified in the following: an alpha cook ;D , a Maddie-aficianado ;) , a painter (wall and canvas variety), a singer, an interior designer, a gastronome, and an antique enthusiast (French provincial anyone?).

Outwardly taciturn, he has surprisingly many things to say once you engage in a conversation with him. At times though, he can be perceptibly opinionated and strong-willed which grouses me exceedingly. Heh heh.

On the flip side, his patience in dealing with my antics is exemplary. However, when someone does irk him, he'd lash back, throw one of his zingers, remain insouciant or turn a deaf ear (literally and figuratively). The desired response depends on his mood and the type of people and/or issue involved. :)

Amongst the many traits that I find endearing one stood out like a sore thumb. He always has my best interests at heart. In every possible way. Although the expressions may be wanting (it's a man thing!), his actions speak louder than the proverbial words. For that, I feel blessed and thankful to God.

Nowadays, it's hard not to be cynical what with the rise in perfidious cases in marriages and the alarming divorce rates among my age group. Experiences from far and near could have easily compelled me to tread carefully, or worse indifferently, on marital grounds. And yet, I refuse to tow the line and let any insignificant others cheating me out of my own happiness.

I owe that much to my hubby to treat him with respect, kindness and amorous delight!

Once you decide that you want to be happy together, you will constantly have that goal in mind and live your existence accordingly. A dollop of doas (supplication) and iman (faith) to guide the both of you, God willing, you will savour a lifetime together.

As always, a proviso still applies, at least to me - our best laid-out plans, endeavours and conducts notwithstanding, God knows best what is even better for us.

On that note, I truly am grateful for the gift of a soulmate whose positive energy ignites every corner of my passions and whose maturity keeps my childish excesses in check ;) . Most importantly, whose unconditional love continues to shine in his deep brown eyes.

Happy birthday my dearest soulmate!



* Hubby's likeness to this political icon is uncanny, as conceded by hubby and my 'other' other half.