On a side note

The fragrance of the cranberry-scented candle percolated the bedroom.
The candle, representing the most expensive ‘want’ item (as opposed to ‘need’) we have bought in recent months, stood vigil atop one of the shelves that hung over our bed.
Purchased at British India at RM15 per candle, it is redolent of the store which in itself serves as a catalyst that has nudged us to buy the candle in the first place.

The cranberry smell has a calming effect on my sometime agitated state. It also helps to lull me to sleep. My eyes circled the room. In a span of two months, we have bought a perambulator, a changing baby station, a moses basket and other baby essential knick knacks. The changing station now settled nicely on my side of the bed so as to enable easy access to the bed for breastfeeding.

The concept of breastfeeding is also new to me. Despite having read many articles and third-party accounts on this matter, it’s something you’d never know unless you experience it yourself firsthand. Like riding the bicycles or swimming. You wouldn’t know until you attempt the feat.

35 weeks pregnant now. Come this weekend it’d be 36 weeks. At least that’s what the calculation is based on my due date of 25 February (in the previous blog I’ve already clarified that it can be as late as 4 March).
I’m sure the intricacies and anecdotal galore of my pregnancy has thus far bored some of you to tears. Granted, it is almost over now and I do hope the birthing process will come sooner than later.

The anticipation of a newborn’s arrival has me at the edge of my seat! Sensations that are new to me could be falsely construed as contractions. Else, I’d be diligently on the lookout for bodily fluids that are of the wrong color or texture.

And there’s the question of finding great help during the so-called ‘confinement’ period that many Malay ladies strictly adhere to. (Other major races in Malaysia – Chinese and Indians also practice their own sets of confinement customs) During this time, the new mother will stay on a stringent regiment of diet in order to heal her ‘wounds’ and facilitate in shrinking the size of her uterus. There will also be the employment of a traditional ‘masseuse’ or ‘tukang urut’ whose methods are touted to help in regulating our blood flow and milk production, encouraging the swift recovery of female reproductive organs and speeding up the process of expelling lochia from the body.

I have managed to find one tukang urut but now wonder if I should keep my options open lest she won’t be available at the very last minute or her methods are not much to my liking.
As for confinement ladies – a term quite novel in my vocabulary – there is a dearth of such services in the market, well at least in the Klang valley region. If one gives birth outside the city, chances are quite high in finding the much sought-after confinement ladies. Not only will they cook for you your special food, they will also bathe and clothe the baby and help with the domestic chores. It’s like having a temporary nanny in the house who will show you the ropes on how to take care of your baby.

Of course, you would have your mother or mother-in-law to impart their maternal wisdom on you but a confinement lady that comes and goes at your own schedule is better in terms of privacy and convenience. However, the only downside is that their service can be quite expensive.

To begin with, my mother is not in good health to assist me in this area while my mother-in-law lives in Kuching, Sarawak - about 1 hour and 40 minutes plane ride from Kuala Lumpur. She has agreed to come for about a week to help me recover during which time I will be ingesting and applied with special traditional herbs that she has personally prepared. But her short stay means I need to scour for other means of service during the first month of my baby’s lives. Eureka! My mom’s maid is reportedly available to cook my special meals while I slowly tend to my baby.

Being a first-time mother, any form of assistance and company post-birth is much welcome. By the same token, any gifts and presents are much, much appreciated. ;-) Like those delicious cranberry or dewberry candles for instance - but no citrusy-scented candles please - since babies are supposedly aversive to this smell during the first few months of their lives. :-)

Quick-take

Malaysian time: 10:30 a.m.
Date: Saturday 14th January 2006

My gynae announced that my baby is facing head-down inside my uterus. "But she is not engaged yet." he absentmindedly added. Wow, that is soothing to know.

Of course, I'm not engaged yet - if not I'd be whiny and suffering excruciating pain! At least, that is my perception of contractions at the moment. I've been having some form of tightening and abdominal pains akin to wanting to go to the loo - but is that contraction?

Well, only time will let me have a free-hand over contraction.

Speaking of time - I have 6 more weeks to go. Yikes, the clock is ticking.

And speaking of my gynae, he is quite a character. Once, he was showing us the ultrascan of our baby and pointing what certain areas of the scan represent. He said that these are the arm buds. It's B-U-D, he spelled for us.

Huh? Did he expect us to think it was B-U-T-T? How insulting.

Anyhow, a trip to the gynae is always unpredictable and amusing. Though I do sometimes find his nonchalant character quite infuriating. My only wish was him to be more expressive and non-android-like.

Though he has his moments - like when he informed us of the amniocentesis and I was bawling in his office, he offered me tissues and reassured me of the 'facts'.

The countdown is nigh!

The baby is now facing downwards but she may continue to change her position. Perhaps now, I should practice counting her 10 daily movements. Something which my gynae has yet to inform me. Hmmm, perhaps he hasn't done so because he thinks it is not time yet? After all, my erratic womanly cycle led the doctors to guesstimate my due date as early as Feb 25 or as late as March 4.

We will wait and see her developments these next 6 weeks!

The Proverbial Stork

I had written this blog earlier but then there was a power outage. It rendered my missive kaput. This does stifle my creative outflow. Not to mention, it tried my patience. Alas, I now have to re-write the entire blog from memory. And you know how it is pregnant ladies and their memory......

I would say I'm a fairly superstitious person. The usage of 'fairly' in the previous sentence connotes a rationale-minded individual who at times succumbs to the preternatural elements of her surrounding. I also have to qualify 'at times' which is 'fairly' safe to say referring to less than 50% of the time.

However, an uncanny phenomenon changed my perception - and turned me to an 'oftentimes' superstitious person.

This series of bewildering events, which I'd call the Stork Phenomenon, occured following my nuptials in November of 2004.

In January 2005, my 39 year-old auntie (by marriage) announced her pregnancy. According to estimated calculations, she had conceived the baby when she was in Kuching, Sarawak as part of our family entourage for the wedding ceremony at the house of my husband's parents.

Then, a month or so later, my younger sister informed us of her successful conception.

This subsequently followed by my baby news in July.

In October, during the fasting month, my 40-odd year-old auntie (by marriage) dropped us with the most unexpected news. She was with child! Due to health reasons, she and my uncle decided to keep mum about it until they were definitely sure.

Outside of familial realm, three of my friends have also been bitten by the baby bug. Elda, Iza and Ina.

My mom thereon told me that, according to her family tradition, pregnancies, more often than not, come in cluster. That was what had happened in the 80s when my two aunties (mom's two sisters) got pregnant followed by expectant relative members and cousins.

On the flip (albeit morbid) side, the same tradition also believes that our departure into the netherworld are executed in groups of three (or is it five? - I've forgot). As such, a person will come to know of 3 individuals (close/distant relatives, friends or famous persons) who have passed away during a particular day.

I believe this circle of birth and death takes place around tightly-woven, esoteric rules set forth by God. Only He knows best. And to allay our fear of the unknown, we can only speculate. Some through zodiacs, algorithms and of course, superstitions.

The good news is I have already one boy cousin last September and a niece last October. Another boy cousin is due in April, after mine in late February/early March. With this minuscule age gap, I wonder how my child will address her young uncles!

Of Malls, Theme Parks and Adrenaline Rush

I'm currently in my 33rd week of pregnancy. The stomach is protruding ever so largely and my 'outtie' is quite visible from any clothes I decide to wear. I have even given up trying to hide it under layers of clothing.

I'm getting more lethargic by the day and my feet get easily swollen now relative to the number of distance I walk during the day.

This photo was taken when I was about 6 months pregnant. I think so - I mean it was after the fasting month. Or is it?

My grey cells seem to decimate in proportion to the protuberance of my midriff area.

The kicking is still going on strong though. I mean, my baby even dictates which side of the bed she wants me to roll over. I guess she likes me to face left which overlooks the telly.

This photo was at a KL-based bookstore, Kinokuniya which is located in KLCC shopping centre. A self-professed mall rat, me and my husband like to wander aimlessly in the numerous mall-erected buildings throughout the Klang Valley region.

We would be one of the firsts to check out a new mall. Sometimes, we do wonder when they are going to build more malls! For the time being, we have to content ourselves with the existing ones.

I think in Europe, the shopping 'enclave' mostly comprise a bevy of shops lined along cobblestone roads.

The idea of a big shopping mall is almost an alien concept to them. At least, that is the impression I've got. Perhaps, malls are only relegated to big cities like London, Paree and Berlin.

But those big, humongous malls are quite rare there with the exception of Manchester City where a big mall was coincidentally built in conjunction with the Commonwealth Games a few years back.

I think the commercialisation of huge malls has a direct correlation with the availability of landbanks to accomodate such an ambitious project.

I have gone to the Great Mall of America, in one of those suburbs in Minnesota (Suburb might not be the correct term to use since the drive was quite long - even though I vaguely remember the route since I was probably getting some shut-eye) It was enormous, to say the least!

There was even an built-in roller coaster theme park inside, coupled with other unique paraphernalias. I think it has a Bugs Bunny/Warner Bros theme, if I'm not mistaken. But that was way back in 1996 - things might have changed a lot since then.

In the dead of winter, it serves as a nice escapade from the minus-degree temperatures of Minnesota. I for one, couldn't get enough of its warmth. My only wish was that the exterior of the Mall would be as lively as it was inside.

Malaysia has also adopted this in-house theme park in one of its mall structures - Berjaya Times Square.

Full of hair-raising (pun intended) screams and adolescent hormones, it is both a sight and a hearing to behold. I used to be one of them - scurrying from one theme ride to another in search for that unquenchable adrenaline rush.

Now, in my third trimester, I cannot afford to be so rash and impulsive. Things have definitely slowed down. These include my metabolism rate and the pace of my walk.

Oh well, being habitual mallrats is a sign of slowing down too. We have now vowed to resort to bring our kid(s) to theme parks and malls to get their (and our) own kick of adrenaline.

In the mean time, we have more pressing matters at hand to tinker with - diapers changing, baby bathing, bottles cleaning, midnight nursing to name a few.

For Purpose of Posterity

At this point in my late pregnancy, I thought it would be nice to 'post' for posterity my non-pregnancy photos.
These two are from my wedding day. Or should I say 'night' since it took place around 8:30 p.m.
True to Malay traditions, the bride and groom don traditional clothes, preferably in white, during the so-called oath ceremony. Right here in Malaysia, it is called the solemnisation process whereby the groom will hold (or grip if you like) the hand of the bride's father while uttering the formalised words that he wants to take the bride (her full name) as his wife with a state-fixed 'token money' or 'mas kahwin' in Malay language.
The procedure must be officiated by a state-appointed religious cleric or 'kadi' and it must be witnessed and concurred by two appointed male witnesses who happen to be my dad's friend (an old neighbour in Shah Alam) and my mom's cousin.
The pictures were taken before the kadi arrived. He was late having to officiate another wedding before mine. Despite the serene quality of the photos, we were actually a nervous wreck. His delay worked up our feelings even more.
As tradition, at least within my maternal family circle, the bride will stay in her finely-decorated wedding 'boudoir' until the solemnisation ceremony. She will then come down to witness the process at a separate corner of the room but within view of her husband-to-be (who will not even get the chance to glimpse at his beloved since he is busy perspiring profusely and memorising important religious commandments lest the kadi asks him).
After it is completed, the bride will then be ushered back to her room and await her husband's arrival for the ring-wearing ceremony.
Before that takes place however, it is 'sunnah' or preferable that the couple perform a short prayer or 'solat' together as a sign of thanks to God for the marriage.
That night, we exchanged rings and kisses before shaking hands and hugging our parents and other relatives that were present.

In actuality, it was a nerve-wrecking night. (Or should I say 'day' when I had to run errands even to the last minute due to the lack of able-bodied people with access to a car) There was a power outage for half an hour or so (which seems like eternity!) during which my husband and his entourage just arrived at the doorsteps of my parents' house. This was attributed to the overloaded electricity usage in the numerous makeshift tents erected on every available ground of my parents' residence. Thankfully, the blackout only hit certain areas of the house.

The bad news was it did affect the wedding room where my 'make-up artist', who was late in the first place, had yet to do up my hair. We had to finish up in another room which was crammed with my siblings and other relatives who were getting ready for the night.

It was helter-skelter pandemonium!

Fortunately, the power did come on full course again before the solemnisation ritual.

Our wedding 'night' turned out fine and blissful in the end. My husband's presence managed to calm my nerves. (I think we calmed each other) Beforehand, I was unnerved by all the commotions and unforeseen scenarios that had transpired.

The next day, however, when the daytime 'sanding' ("SUN-DEENG") or fullblown celebration took place is a different story. That, I will save for my next entry.