Pet Peeves Part 2

Recovering from my post-anniversary euphoria, I am more than ready to plunge head-on into the second instalment of my pet peeves.

It is without much ado relates to societal living.

Social graces. Social etiquette. Social deportment. What-have-you.

Not one whom others might consider graceful, I plan to attack this matter from a different angle. Mainly from the point of view of conversation, salutation and public conduct. In other words, socio-behavioural.

I am taking the lead from Ms Fran Lebowitz, American's great social satirist and humourist whose socio-cultural observations are quite deliciously sardonic and funny in turn.

As one grows older, one realises those public decorum lectures sounded off by one's elders have now become logical and practical for dissemination. In a way, one is grateful for the indelible mark (or scar) being imprinted on one's brain. Social conduct is indeed a significant matter to fuss over in this material world.

First of, I am quite peeved when someone whom I know is suffering or lacking certain station in his or her lives having to bear a group conversation of that very taboo subject. This happens despite the nitwit loquacious person (in the said conversation) having the knowledge of that hapless person's current predicament. Confused yet?

Let's say this guy whom you know is having problem of the reproductive kind but your wife who knows quite well about this matter didn't care to practice her discretion by talking about babies and how someone she knows is expecting triplets, etc, etc.

And for instance, your girlfriend who is not yet married but probably has plans to, cringing while listening about this and that friend making wedding plans or mulling over the name of a new baby.

One exception to this rule is when that person herself or himself asks you about the particular taboo matter. Then, it is considered appropriate to yap about the subject, however a point of caution applies - always talk in a LESS excitable manner or be as nonchalant as you can.

Another irritating habit that I have observed of people revolves on the attendance of functions. Imagine this - a couple is attending a formal function like a sit-down hotel wedding and a friend or colleague or acquaintance of the husband only makes an effort to talk to the husband and not to the wife!

This is even more chronic and not to mention confounded, when the friend is a woman, the same species with the wife! Of course this applies to the husband as well when the table has turned with the wife's male friend striking a conversation only with her. But the former scenario is more apparent, at least judging from my consensus.

The situation turns more grating when the so-called friend keeps asking for the husband - what seems like every 5 minutes - to ask a question or make a comment. When the wife asked the husband what it is all about, within earshot of that friend, this awkward behaviour already constitutes a strong hint to include her (the wife) in the conversation to which that inane friend should have taken heed. But no, she kept on going like a clueless blonde and avoiding any eye contact with the wife. What a twerp (though I have other adjectives in mind)! Something is definitely amiss there. At least, in that nonexistent brain of hers.

The same thing applies when, bumping into each other, a friend/acquaintance of one half of a couple only greets hello to one half of the couple without acknowledging the other half's existence. As if the other half is not present or suddenly rendered invisible. The least a person could do is to smile at the other half, even if the person doesn't know the other half.....yet.

Another point of aggravation on the public front is when a person is in the midst of withdrawing money from the ATM machine and the person behind will stand too close for comfort and try his best to take a peek at the person's transaction or if lucky, his account balance. This heinous act is not intended in any way to represent a plot to hatch a public mugging but just the curious nature of a socially inept person who makes it his/her business to know everything about ANYbody. It is as if the triumphant sight of someone else's fiscal composition gives him a thrill. Get a life!

And there is a matter of queuing to pay at a check-out counter. A person will feign seeing a long line and cut queue by going to the front of the cashier. He or she will proceed with this act as long as the others do not make any noise. But the worst of this kind are those who become deaf even when the other shop patrons behind him/her clamor for justice. This is a frequent occurence when only one or two persons are behind him/her in line.

I notice a common thread in all these social provocations. It lies in ignoring a person's presence OR a person's misfortunes in order to gain something for oneself.

This reminds me of an 'office worker' who purposely left me out of the prospect of attending a meeting and discuss about this meeting in another language so as to ruffle my feathers, so to speak.

For this lack of social deportment, I have this to say to myself, it is probably her/his 'station in life' or 'innate malevolent psyche' that compels her/him to behave in such a vicious, inconceivable manner.

And when all else fails in rectifying or controlling the damage of these social misconducts, I will carry on in a manner not dissimilar to theirs. Ignore the person in public or in some instances, in a private realm such as work.