The State of Inducement

We were having our customary quiet dinner - my husband and I - last January when he alerted me of a BBC article which caught his interest on the phone's RSS feed. He showed it to me and the memory of it came flashing back.

It is a news article about the rise of labour inductions in the UK to which the researcher could not "find a medical or other explanation for the procedure".

Reasons for induction included the standard medical reasons as well as social factors such as living a long way from the hospital. But 28% of cases remained unexplained.

The timely findings simply floored me. Here I was thinking that mine - and those sharing the same doctor with me - was an isolated case. Evidently, it does happen in other parts of the developed world.

After choosing Practitioner A ('PA') for my first baby, I had heard stories from reliable sources that he likes to induce labour. Since I was a first-timer when it came to giving birth, I didn't actually register what this induction actually entailed. I had prayed I wouldn't be in the same boat as the others who were supposedly induced. That mine would come naturally one night - the water breaks and with that comes the onset of labour. No such luck. I was induced.

Looking back, I might have done it differently. I would hold my ground and said "No, I'll wait it out". 'It' was referring to the possible mild contractions that I might be having for several days before the BIG day finally arrived. Alas, I was a scared woman who depended and trusted her obstetrician to do the best thing. However, little did I know that PA was doing what was best for HIM.

To tell you the truth, I felt cheated. That's rather harsh. Perhaps 'ill-informed' is a better word. We came in to see my doctor the day after I found a small trace of blood while in the toilet. He said my cervix had opened about 2 cm. When PA said I could be feeling the contractions for days on end, I was afraid. By coming in early, I had thought it would help in alleviating the anticipated pain. I was wrong. No pain was forthcoming despite the application of prostaglandin in the nether region.

After a night full of anxiety and sleeplessness, I woke up early in the morning without any signs of labour. They tried the procedure again but to no avail. By noon when PA came to visit me, he looked glum by the slow progress and informed me that he might have to perform a C-section if my cervix were not ripe enough.

I was crestfallen. A Caesarean is the last thing I wanted done. It was only after I was rolled into my room that the contractions started taking place. The frequency gradually picked up that I was rushed back to the delivery area of the hospital, before I could even enjoy the cozy room. Following an internal examination of said cervix, he artificially ruptured my membranes using a crochet-like hook called Amniohook. A lot of water came gushing out thereafter. It's almost like a waterfall.

It was so surreal that it felt like I was having one of those out-of-body experiences. A gush of water tinged with blood - that is new. After cleaning up in the bathroom, PA later suggested that this would be a great time to think of pain relief i.e., epidural since the contractions would be stronger now that my membranes had been ruptured. We assented to the procedure.

I remember the anesthesiologist burrowing into my spine to insert the epidural catheter tube (Post-labor, hubby said there was a considerable amount of blood involved, but he didn't want to alarm me). Everything was a blur from this point on. I was exhausted from lack of food and the series of events that I drifted off to sleep. I must have slept for a long time since it was already dark by the time I came to. Apparently, I was having a fever and shivering badly as a result of low blood sugar level that the midwives quickly opened my blanket and introduced something intravenously.

I fell asleep again and woke up in excruciating pain. The epidural effect had worn off and caused me to feel those major contractions. God only knows how bad they were. I yearned for some pain medication and fast! The same anesthesiologist arrived after what seemed like an eternity and topped up the dosage. As it took some time for it to take effect, I writhed and cringed in pain (Wow, it does seem that I have a low threshold of pain :) ).

By the time the numbness took over, my cervix has sufficiently dilated for a vaginal delivery. The bad news was I couldn't feel any sensation that was needed in order for me to push! With the aid of a midwife and encouragement from my hubby, I did push. In a manner of speaking. I couldn't feel I was pushing, but I 'acted' it out with all my might.

When I opened my eyes after several pushes, PA had plonked my baby in front of me. She was beautiful with big, beady eyes. While the doctor stitched me up, hubby began to intone the adzan.

Moments later when Sadia was already sent to the nursery room, I hurled to my heart's (stomach's?) content. That was obviously the after-effects of epidural. Luckily, it was mostly water-based since I hadn't eaten much.

As you can see, the protracted labour had wreaked havoc on my system - physically and emotionally. I checked in at 8 p.m. on Wednesday and Sadia had only come out of the womb shortly after midnight on Friday. To say the least, it was exhausting! I recall arriving home and started weeping. I was overwhelmed with the new role to be assumed and bushed from the laborious labour.

Thus, my contention is that I go for as natural as possible kind of birth this time around. I'm resolute. No more unnecessary long and stressful stay in the hospital. As Ms. Macdonald of the Royal College of Midwives asserted in the article, "it was important that women knew why induction was being done". In other words, the practitioner had better spelled the word out clearly so that the patient, especially first-time mother-to-be, knew what to expect.

"We are very interested in trying to support normal birth and ensuring an intervention is done only when it's absolutely necessary."

I can't agree more. Here's to natural childbirth!

Pregnancy Journal 2

Written last Friday between 8:30 a.m. and 9:50 a.m, before I went to see the ob-gyn.


It has been a while since I put a pen to paper. The previous two entries won't count as they are merely fleeting surveys into my psyche (although I did spend a lot of time on the first survey).

I am writing while lying supine on this comfortable, cool bed as Sadia's light breathing and the revolving fan accompany my scribble. And yes, the occasional kicking in the tummy also punctuates the tranquility, so to speak. Sleep continues to elude me these past few weeks. Coupled with lethargy, the erratic mood swings and worrying undoubtedly bring on the insomnia. Thus, the reason for this belated rambling.

My gestation period has now entered its 23-week. The baby is thriving and so is this protruding body. For one, I cannot believe how large my belly has become. Secondly, I am almost reaching the weight that I was when I gave birth to Sadia! With 17-odd weeks to go, I must cut down the snacking - not that I snack frequently as attested by my hubby - and keep to my regular daily meals. Well, that obviously includes teatime. :)

I put down all the healthy weight to the fact that I am carrying a boy. Alhamdulillah. They say pregnant ladies tend to put on more weight when it's a boy. I take comfort in these words, despite its scant scientific backing. (Note: My doctor later informed that since I had conceived the baby at a higher weight vis-à-vis the first pregnancy, it's futile to make a comparison. :) )

I have to agree with another point - joining 'the pudding club' with a toddler in tow has its set of challenges. Particularly when you are a stay-at-home mother with no access to domestic assistance. There were times when I just want to nap my fatigue off, but my clingy tot insisted on playing with her. Sadia is the type who needs people to be around when she indulges on her toys. Save for those rare moments, she no longer naps in the afternoon which consequently takes a toll on my aching body. On the other hand, we have mulled the idea of pre-schooling to which Sadia is enthusiastic about. However, this fussy (not to mention, protective) mummy has yet to find one to her liking.

Once I had sat down with Sadia for a trial session in a preschool and witnessed the teacher roughly handled a four-year old. I recoiled at the thought of the same happening to my kid. The stern-looking teacher wanted the girl to form the shape of the letter B with her arm. When the girl became stiff and grew inattentive, the teacher got frustrated and, in an angry tone, swiftly flexed the girl's arm into action. Predictably, the girl cried much to the teacher's (feigned?) surprise, and she in turn tried her best to console the hapless girl. Probably her harsh demeanour brought me back to my former schooling experience, but the truth of the matter is I find her teaching method unpalatable.

Else, it is just my maternal instinct kicking which refuses to let my girl go after being under my care for so long. Let's just see how the other schools fare in my strict estimation.

As for me, the physical ailments such as nausea, dizziness and knee pain linger. The nausea, I notice, is usually triggered when I take my food late. The worst part of it is my flaring temper which seems to resurface every time I am tired. Naturally, I would feel awful afterwards when the storm has been unleashed. This pregnancy has so far taught me many unforgettable lessons on patience and controlling of emotions.

Lying sideways to the left, my eyelids have now become heavy. My little angel is still fast asleep. It's time to heed the body's call to recharge. Any spectre of worry that comes my way must wait. While it's true time waits for no man, life is what happens to you when you stop worrying.


p.s. It seems like this journal will be on a trimester-basis. For the first one, please go here : Pregnancy Journal 1.

Firstborn Tag

(First published in FB's Notes on Wednesday)

I was tagged by the lovely Ms. Suri whom I had met via blogging. :)

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? No, I wanted a baby right away due to the age factor.

2. WHAT was your 2nd choice name or your opposite gender name: We were only mulling over possible names after we found out we're having a girl. Her name evolved from thereon. Only towards the end that one name stuck in our heads and we both agreed to it.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Excited and humbled!

4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 30 going on 31.

5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Interesting that you'd asked. There is actually a long story to this, so please bear with me :) . I'd been anxious about getting pregnant ever since tying the knot. After six months of nuptials and still no baby, I tried not to be so hard up for the stork's arrival. In late June, I experienced what akin to a stomach flu and was prescribed some medicine. I had thought I was 'late' because of the antibiotics given to me then.

Again, when 'it' didn't come for what seemed the longest time and the home kit was negative, I went to see two doctors - first, one near to work and later on, one near home. The tests taken in both clinics still turned out negative. The second doctor even told me that some women could mimic pregnancy symptoms when they are so desperate to get pregnant. She suggested I took some pineapple juice to stimulate menstruation. I was crestfallen.

I had contemplated taking the juice when I realised that I slowly grew aversive to coffee. I couldn't bring myself to drink them. Something must be VERY wrong! I LOVE coffee!

Purely out of instinct, I called hubby and asked him to meet me at Twin Towers Medical Centre after work (I had a business meeting in town that day) for another test. We were ushered to the big waiting area until the result was out. The curt male doctor suddenly appeared in front of us and said 'Ah, positive. Come!' No smiling face. Just a matter-of-fact, serious expression. We were first dumbfounded by his contradicting sullen declaration. Then, the word finally sank in. POSITIVE? Alhamdulillah! That was a long, harrowing one-month journey to discovery.

6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? I sent a mass sms (text messages) to my parents, siblings and close friends.

7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Definitely.

8. DUE DATE? Early-to-mid March.

9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Unlike this second pregnancy, no. But my husband did experience a bout of morning sickness in the first trimester by way of Couvade Syndrome.

10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? A lot of cheese. Kraft cheddar cheese. The block type which I carried around in my handbag!

11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? The smell of coffee, or even the mere mention of it, makes me nauseous.

12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Female.

13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX ? No. I love to dress up a girl. All those (floral) dresses, skirts galore. :)

14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? In Malaysia, we use the metric system, so it was 20-23 kg.

15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Not a normal tradition or custom here.

16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? Hence, not applicable.

17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Since I couldn't ascertain my last cycle as a result of #5, my obgyn had to guesstimate my due date. As such, my triple blood test showed a higher risk of Down Syndrome. No words could describe how devastated I had become. My ever aloof obgyn recommended an amniocentesis procedure to confirm for sure the presence of Down Syndrome risk. In spite of the exorbitant price, we decided to go ahead with it primarily for our peace of mind. I was a nervous, emotional wreck for days before and after the procedure. Praise be to Him, everything turned out well. And the upside was that we got to know our baby's sex quite early.

18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Gleneagles, KL.

19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? Since it was 'unplanned' induced birth, I was in the hospital since 8 pm on Wednesday and the baby only came out at 00:04 on Friday. Sheer exhaustion and stress!

20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? - My other half.

21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? - My other half and a midwife on duty who taught me how to push.

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural, with assisted vacuum extraction.

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Epidural, twice top up.

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 2.98 kg.

25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? 12:04 am Friday, 24th February 2006.

26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Sadia Firjani.

27. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? She's due for her 3rd birthday! *hint, hint*

28. WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN? I'm currently 22-week pregnant with my second child. :)

Firmly snugged in my arms, seven hours after delivery

25 Random Things.....

As published on FB's notes last night.

I have been tagged. Without further ado, here are mine.

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)



(1) Believe it or not, I am one of the three siblings born in the same year. No, we are not triplets. My eldest sis was born in January whereas my twin and I were born in December. So, three in a year. However, so as to avoid having to explain at length, my mom at times said we're triplets.

(2) Yes, I am one half of a twin. We are supposedly identical twins, but our friends can vouch otherwise. Our personalities are as distinct as the moon and the sun. Probably, we should do a DNA test to check if we're in fact fraternal twins.

(3) I like to eat chicken. I can have it every day. All parts of the chicken are fine, except for liver and gizzard. Given the choice between white and red meat, I'd select the former. Though lately I've been craving a lot of red meat...

(4) I love cats and anything that, according to my warped mind, remotely resembles cats, such as otters, meerkats and ferrets. But never catfish.

(5) I'm not really feminine even though I prefer skirts to pants. Nor am I that masculine in spite of my tough talk and 'sitting' manners.

(6) Sometimes people would remark that I am athletic, which is furthest from the truth. I haven't done any sports for the longest time since the end of high/secondary school. Of course, there were the occasional badminton and other outdoor games, but I am never into sports. I attribute this misconception to my broad shoulders and tall stature.

(7) Due to the lack of interest in sports, I don't find the need to watch any sporting events. The last time I had religiously followed a sporting event was in 2002 and it's the World Cup co-sponsored by Japan and South Korea (I had to look this one up :P ). Marriage life further reinforced this blase attitude towards sports as my spouse also shares the same sentiment.

(8) Speaking of spouse, I'm proudly and happily married to a Sarawakian who is pretty much a metrosexual (Please feel free to google this term). I could have married a typical male chauvinist, but that would insult my intelligence and destroy any shred of self-respect I might have left. Then again, I believe all men are male chauvinists in one form or another, whether they are straight or not. :)

(9) If you don't already know or notice, I am a fairly blunt person. I don't mince my words. Some people find it hard to swallow my tendency of putting a foot in the mouth. I have since learned to brush up on my diplomatic skills.

(10) My favourite colour is anything in the shade of purple. A colour analyst says people who love purple have a lot of pent-up desire. Hmmm.....

(11) I love anything of the floral print. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a leopard print or anything of its ilk. It's still better off on the animals, methinks.

(12) When I was a little girl, I drew a variety of cartoon-like figures in many interesting outfits. Secretly, I wanted to become a fashion designer. However, my lack of control of brushstrokes and poor school marks in drawing worked against me. So, I live vicariously through my love of everything clothes. No handbags or shoes to make me go gaga. Just clothes in all their glory.

(13) After an awkward adolescent period, I only warmed up to the idea of wearing a skirt toward the second half of college years. Sure, I had to don baju kurung during schooltime, but I never felt comfortable in them. Now, I can't see myself without skirts.

(14) When I was in Form 2 (that would be 9th Grade), my parents hatched a plan to get us out of school early so we would be able to catch the David Copperfield Magic show held in KL. They told the Penyelia Petang (The Afternoon session supervisor) that there's a family emergency in Kampung Bahru. It was exhilarating to see David Copperfield in the flesh.

(15) In Form 3, two friends and I trickled a few drops of 'Minyak Atar' ( or pungent Arabic scented oil) onto the seats of our classmates during the recess. The classroom was percolated with strong, cloying perfume. It's part of our April's Fool prank. To my former unsuspecting peers, please forgive our transgression.

(16) My forehead bears two scars from my childhood - a playground incident and a car accident.

(17) Although my drawing and painting skills are not up to par, I love arts and art history. Among my favourite painters are Monet, Cezanne, Van Gogh and Seurat.

(18) I can't stand anyone who's immoderately vain - the type who cannot be in contact with any shiny or mirror surface lest she or he would check herself or himself for what seems like hours.

(19) Thanks to my mom's side, I am endowed with wavy locks. Once, while waiting for the lift at an old workplace, a middle-aged lady working in HR asked if I recently had a perm job. When I replied matter-of-factly it's all natural, she gave me a blank stare as if I was pulling her leg.

(20) My ancestral line can be traced to Bugis and Jawa on the maternal side and Siam on the paternal side.

(21) I tend to be a 'crankitch' (cranky b***h) if I don't get enough shuteye. Other than that, I'm a pretty pleasant human-being.

(22) I am a coffee junkie. After last year's knee problems though, I am trying to cut down my daily intake. I'm getting old. Crackling bones and all.....

(23) I'd love to travel all over the world if I have the wherewithal. The places I visit must however have potable water and edible food.

(24) While professing an avid interest in writing, I have not done much reading in my adult life. I put it down to my short attention span and sheer procrastination. I have to buck up in order to be half as good as my favourite writers.

(25) I've been described many things by different people. Some say I'm snobby, others say I'm weird, a few funny ones say I'm 'happening'. There are some 'I'm timid', 'I'm brash' and even, 'I'm trying too hard'. What I know is I can be quiet and shy among the extroverts and loquacious, and I can be talkative when I'm nervous or trying to defuse an awkward silence. Most of all, I can be myself among friends and kindred spirits.