An aside: Intelligence

I'm forever fascinated by the array of adjectives that mothers employ to reinforce certain intelligent behaviour by their kids.

For instance, I invariably use Pandaiiii* as a form of reward for Sadia's smartness. Sometimes, I interchange it with "Good girl" for other types of behaviour that don't cause me a headache and make me run amok.

Other variations to this word that I've come across being used are Pandainyeeeee* and Clever.

But the most interesting, not to mention long, sentence that I've heard is "That's it, XXX. Mommy is so proud of you. You can do it," uttered by a local TV personality that I had the pleasure of meeting in Bangsar's Kizsport and Gym. And she said these every single time her boy did something physically remarkable.

*It is one of the Malay adjectives for Intelligent.

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Since we're on the topic of intelligence, I have a story to share that is both bizarre and stupid at the same time. At least, in my estimation it is. Of course, there are other adjectives that I could offer for good measure, but you get the drift once you read this story.

Last Monday, my husband was in one of his office lifts going out to lunch. As wont during this hour the lift was almost full of people and he had the misfortune of being in the same one with this lady whom we shall refer to in this anecdote as M.

In the said lift, M who naturally craves attention started making conversation in that high-pitched voice of hers with my husband. This took place while others stayed quiet and proper until the lift was to arrive on the ground floor.

The conversation veered towards me for some reason. She was asking if I had already started working to which hubby answered in the negative.

And then she made the most uncalled of remarks, "I don't think I can do that (not working and staying at home)...I need to think, man" and trailed off to say "I read Wall Street Journal" at which point she promptly opened her oversized bag and practically shoved the pile of said broadsheet onto my husband's face.

Hubby was taken aback by such an inane comment and odd gesture and replied "It doesn't mean when you stay at home you don't think....she (meaning moi) has other outlets....she writes, for example."

"What does she write about?" she asked curiously.

"Anything...she does research on them."

Finally, in an impudent and mocking manner, she shot back "Does it get published?"

Wanting to put her in her place, hubby lied and said Yes. That shut her trap up.

Knowing that she was now out of tricks, M tried to change the subject "So where are you off for lunch?"

As timing is everything, hubby sardonically said "Obviously not with you" as soon as the elevator's door opened and walked away from the ugly scene.

I was in disbelief when hubby phoned me shortly after his weird encounter with M. The nerve of that woman. I know she had received a Professional Qualification in Finance a couple of years back, but that does not automatically translate into a freewheeling license to be high and mighty about other people.

She has always been annoying with all those blunt remarks about matters of no consequence. Two years back she opined that staying at home all the time would make it harder to lose all those pregnancy weight. This was after I told her that I'd quit my job to follow my hubby for studies. I think her logic is flawed since there are other avenues to lose weight for SAHMs like the ubiquitous 'reputable' slimming centres that are all the rage in Malaysia. (Not that I'm its patron :) )

She was just saying that to get a reaction out of me. It's her classic, biatch M.O., I think.

Like the time she was in the hotel lift (again) with my husband and said "How come you didn't say anything?" referring to the course they had attended together. She was mighty proud for being an eager beaver participant and wanted to show off to the passive participants who took the same elevator with them.

Of course, hubby corrected her that he did ask questions but she was too busy hearing her own voice to listen to other people's input in the class. :P

We always dread bumping into her at hubby's workplace - KLCC - due to this 'quirky' attitude of hers. Most of the times, we do the 'BBTN' - Buat-Buat Tak Nampak* - and goes up or down the elevator, whence she lingers nearby. The only reason we tolerate her is because she's the wife of our mutual friend.

I don't know whether she gets a high from inflicting others with this kind of verbal abuse or that she just wants to reaffirm her superiority. I recall the moment when she showed the photo of her newborn in her wallet and quickly added almost regretfully that she (the baby) has a button-like (penyet) nose. I didn't understand why she preempted by telling me that trivial information even before I could open my mouth to comment anything. Probably she's not happy with the nose or would like to save the trouble of mean people saying that to her face. However, I'm NOT that kind of person. And I was not even focusing on the little clueless, innocent baby's nose, for goodness' sake!

This particular species wouldn't like if we throw a few curve balls their way, but relish the feeling of doing the same. Such is life.

What goes around comes around, man!

I find it very amusing that she resorted to open her bag to prove that she does indeed read WSJ, thus confirming her high-minded persona. Please spare me the mindless posturing!

What I don't like is her antiquated school of thought which equates housewives to ditsy ladies with no access to intelligent pursuits. I would expect this mindset from Neanderthal males, but not from a so-called Professional.

But sadly, I believe this narrow perception is rife in some Asian societies where men think highly of their female work colleagues and see their domesticated wives as unequal in this respect. If only they take time to discuss worldly issues with their partner, then they would be surprised to know how 'learned' the wife is. How shortsighted can some men be!

I always love the 'lively' discussions - anything under the sun - I usually partake with my husband.

It's not about who knows more about certain topics, there's bound to be stuff that we won't know in this whole wide world.

The important thing is we learn from one another. Thanks for reminding me dear.

And thanks again for defending me. How chivalrous of you :)


* Is humorously translated as Feigning Temporary Blindness