Sista, Sista

Dikya and I during my Akad Nikah night

My baby sister, Dikya celebrates her XXth birthday on Sunday, a week before Mother's Day. To me, the proximity of Mother’s Day to her date of birth is by no means a coincidence. In her, I find a paragon of motherly love. She has this innate maternal streak from an age so young that children swarm her like bees are to honey. It’s completely natural for them to be fond of her as she bestows on them the kind of loving care and affection short of their respective real mother.

It’s quite an enviable trait that I so eagerly want to emulate. While hers is fairly consistent, my experience with kids has been mixed. Some are drawn to me whereas other shy away from any plausible contact. Probably I was trying too hard that they recoiled from my over-exuberance. ;-)

Unlike the previous three lasses in the family, Dikya was born in KL. And unlike her older sisters, Dikya is blessed with straight hair. The intuitive woman in all of us theorizes that by the time our mother conceived her fourth daughter Dikya, the gene responsible for springy, curly locks, which is synonymous with Mama, was either disabled or waned from her system. Which was all the better since some mean-spirited persons did entertain a wild imagining or joke around that she was adopted! Either way, it is maliciously cruel!

I remember my mom telling us that Dikya came into the world with a mop of thick, jet-black hair. In contrast to the boisterous, terrible twins, she’s a quiet and cooperative baby. Oh yeah, a bit of trivia (or in some fandom circles it can be construed as name-dropping but I seriously beg to differ) with respect to my mom’s maternity ward. On the bed next to her was Edry KRU’s mom who gave birth to him on the same day (give or take one-day lag). Trust my mom to remember people’s faces and names so well!

Being the youngest sister, Dikya by nature looked up to her elder sisters for guidance and amusement. She’d be cahoots with us for many of our outrageous childhood forays that saw us periodically getting into trouble with parents and relatives alike. Of course, my twin and I (or was it solely her machination?) were the masterminds behind these terrific capers.

By the time we reached adolescence, all of us were preoccupied with our own version of growing pains – fitting in at school, making friends, teenage crushes, meaning of life, religious awakening and the like. Also, a brewing family crisis unwittingly shook our world and transmuted our general outlook on life.

I observed that during these times, Dikya turned inward to reading books and writing her thoughts on a diary. In short, she became secretive. To think of it, all of my sisters are quite reticent about sharing their innermost thoughts that it’s driving me crazy! Am I the only one who is adjudged an open book? Oh well, if you can’t beat them, join them. On hindsight, my partiality for candor must be the reason I bravely turn to blogging in the first place. ;-)

After a challenging two-year stint in a residential school, Dikya furthered her tertiary education in the UK where she met her husband who attended the same university but studying a different course. So when she decided to tie the knot before me, I was more than happy to receive the spoils arising from the ‘langkah bendul’ (a Malay tradition where the unmarried older sister will be ‘rewarded’ when the younger sister is to marry first) custom. The ‘sepersalinan’ (top-to-bottom) gifts consisted of, amongst others, a handbag, shoes and a four-meter of crimson silk chiffon. :-) Free fabric for the upcoming Raya!

In terms of demeanor, Dikya is the epitome of a lady with poise, unlike her tomboyish sister. Moi. Well, at least when we’re growing up. I’ve learnt to spruce up since then. Once I brought her along to meet up with a close friend of mine and this long-time cohort couldn’t help but to laugh at the vast differences in our deportment! I do have to admit that at times the comparison in our mannerism, physical beauty and what-have-you, especially among the 'older folks', grates on my nerves.

On the flip side, regardless of the ladylike charm she exudes, do not ever make the mistake of equating her femininity with meekness. Dikya has a tenacious spirit and a willful mind to boot. Nevertheless, within this bull-headed (she is after all a Taurean) quality lies her greatest assets yet – (1) loyalty to those she loves and (2) generosity with her wealth.

True to sibling tradition, we also had our share of petty squabbles and catfights, much to our mother’s dismay and not to mention, recurring headaches. Personally, I believe that sometimes we need to let some issues out of our chest but the manner in which the other person reacts to your point of view is the necessary risk we have to take. When a misunderstanding over your intention ensues, I've learnt that it’s better to lie low until the surface tension – or the cause of the tension, in some cases – disappears. At other times however, it’s better to let the chips fall where they may and subsequently pick up the pieces, whatever that’s left, and start all over again…..After all, indubitably, blood is thicker than water.

Like any other, my relationship with my sister is far from perfect. That I can safely vouch for. Still, I take comfort in knowing she will always be there as my sister and instinctively carrying out her filial duties. For this special occasion, I fervently wish you a lifetime of happiness with your loving family, buoyed by great health and a steady stream of income! Have a fabulous day, dear sis!

Sadia, Zahra (Dikya's baby) and Elisa (Kak Long's 4th kid); on the background me and Dikya holding on to our babies respectively