Affairs of the Heart

What started out as a innocent conversation over tea turned into a surprising revelation of epic proportions. On a cool late afternoon after the forces of nature had died down, a person whom I have known for a long time intimated that she should have known the signs of her troubled marriage long before it spiraled out of control.

The trusted confidante, who has seen me through my lowest ebbs and highest peaks, confided that her marriage was a sham even during the early years. She found out too late that her husband was seeing another woman - an old flame, a high school crush - once a month for lunch. The news of the woman's untimely demise somehow unwittingly compelled the husband to speak the truth of their trysts.

He had mentioned this in a manner so matter-of-factly that it pierced her heart; as if it was his every right to do whatever he pleased without acknowledging or thinking the consequences on the people he was supposed to love and cherish for a lifetime. I could see that my friend was choked with emotions as she recalled this pivotal moment in her relationship. A relationship that had blossomed from many years of friendship that should in themselves provide her with a strong inkling of a person’s character. Or so she had grievously thought.

My friend believed that incident was the turning point in her marriage - she slowly yet surely closed herself out from the husband. No more would she share the tidbits of her daily lives when such a gesture was far from being appreciated, nor was it ever reciprocated. She – the picture of candour and honesty – too realised that her partner's continual lack of disclosure and openness in their relationship would be the cause of her undoing. Every lie, cry and heartache inflicted an irreparable damage on her psyche.

The lunch trysts, as it turned out, were the prelude to other wanton liaisons to come that would haunt her for the rest of her lives. Each unsavoury episode whittled away any desire to fight and save her marriage from falling apart.

If it were not for the children involved in this tragic union, she'd just leave in a heartbeat and start anew. Alas, she, who doesn't believe raising the kids in a broken home, has become the sacrificial lamb in the delicate matters of the heart. She'd rather grin and bear it than seeing her children suffer from the effects and stigma of a divorce. What she didn't count on by staying put was her children’s keen ability to soak in the troubled domestic scene and sense the emotional turmoil hampering her every happiness.

Ironically, they would be embittered still by the slew of deceits being played out daily by their father and grappling with the proverbial concept of trust that at times eludes them in their respective relationships.

Like a broken record, he had promised to turn a new leaf at some point of their marriage - at least that’s how it sounded in the throes of anguish and regret. But, like a leopard that can never change its spots, he hooked up with another woman with whom he could allegedly channel a more rugged and younger personality.

Like a straw that broke the camel’s back, my friend came unglued following this latest scandal and cast any remnant of her feelings to the howling wind. Inured by the endless pain, she reckons this is the best way to handle a situation that is fast becoming an incessant drag on the remainder of her lives.

I admire her for the innumerable strength that she has mustered in dealing with these real-life nightmares. Some may say that it is never too late to leave but let’s just say she has her reasons. A declining health and lack of proper educational background are some of them.

Thank you friend for shedding the light on the depths of your sorrow. Now I truly comprehend the extent and long duration of your suffering. I pray the best for you in this life and the Hereafter.