Accident Happens

That's what my sister said when I told her about the incident. Ironically, that's what also Sadia said a few minutes into the accident. My heart swelled by her feeble attempt at convincing both of us. I wish I was allayed by that assertion, but I still felt contrite. A string of 'Should-Have's entered my then frazzled mind.

That's why it is called an accident. Because it was not premeditated, nor was it an freakish act of natural disaster. Nonetheless, unlike the latter, it still has an element of control which I could have adroitly applied.

Before I heap more ambiguity into the story, I'd better cut to the chase and say it - an iron fell onto Sadia's head.

The accident took place last Tuesday, June 1st mid-morning after I had finished bathing the two kids. Done with dressing them up, I was about to spritz Sadia's long hair with a detangler spray when Saeif approached the iron's electrical cord and began tugging at it. I said "No, don't do it Saeif", and quickly positioned the iron further in towards the wall on the ironing board so it wouldn't wobble any longer after Saeif's first attempt.

My mind was preoccupied with something else when I went back to tackling the hair of Sadia who was sitting on the floor in the bedroom. There I was combing her hair nicely, and when I was about to quietly congratulate myself on a job well done, whoosh came down the ironing board with a flying iron. In split second, Saeif lay down on the floor with the board on top of him. Frantically, I made sure whether the board was heavy (no, it was somewhat lightweight) and he was safe (yes, he was).

In that same instant, Sadia, whose tears streamed down her cheeks, told me she was 'ouchie' (hurt). When I saw blood spewing out from the top of her head, I panicked and cried. I immediately took her bath towel lying nearby from their earlier bath together and put pressure on the bloody spot. As the towel turned crimson red with each application, I began to feel frightened for Sadia.

I hastily called Minan and in a barely comprehensible voice, told him what just happened. Amid our cries together - Saeif was the loudest as he was in shock of the situation and wailed uncontrollably.

He wanted me to hold him and soothe his fear, but I had to attend to Sadia's injury with a towel in one hand and Sadia in the other. Poor Saeif was thrashing on the carpet while I watched helplessly. At one point I tried holding him in one free hand, but he pushed it aside and continued sobbing inconsolably. Sadia thankfully had calmed down after I distracted her with a series of questions. Still, she was afraid ("Ma, I'm afraid") of her injury and the sight of blood that came in contact with my lips must have shook her further ("Ma, what's that on your lips?").

Minan arrived home 10-15 minutes later and knocked wildly on the door as he had forgotten to bring his keys home. Thank God his office is near to our home. Carrying an inconsolable baby and holding firmly onto the hand of an injured and scared toddler, I opened the door.

Daddy's little girl, Sadia began crying again when her dad was at the doorway. Minan took Sadia in his arms while I handled Saeif who was still in his crying fits. I proceeded to the bedroom to calm him down and nurse him. Exhausted and coupled with the fact that it was his nap time, Saeif fell easily into deep sleep.

Sadia had also calmed down with her dad in the living room. Upon Minan's examination of the wound, he said the gash was rather deep and still oozing a bit. That moment, I'm thankful that my husband was an active PBSM member in secondary school. I'd not be able to ascertain the extent of the injury on my own.

After preparing Saeif's 'bottled' lunch in a jiffy and settling a niggling problem with a cable tv provider over the phone (several bothersome phone exchanges with them were in effect), we left the apartment and took a taxi to the panel clinic. It was about 20-25 minutes' drive there and Sadia was singing a song she usually make up in the taxi to kill the time. In other words, she is being her normal self again. The driver even turned the volume of his Indian radio station to drown Sadia's voice. Or perhaps giving her an alternative to the same ditty she sang in the car.

At the clinic, the doctor examined Sadia's injury and gave my husband an earful for not being careful around the house. I didn't go with them as I was feeding Saeif his lunch at the spacious waiting area. Moreover, we wanted to avoid another crying scene should Sadia's gash need to be stitched up. And the presence of a curious Saeif might deter Sadia from cooperating and complying.

The doctor also informed Minan that the cut was not a blunt and swollen one which might otherwise indicate an internal bleeding. Thank God! However, she cautioned if there were any signs of lightheadedness or vomiting thereafter, we are to bring her back immediately.

After the nurse cleaned the wound area and patched it with three slivers of plasters, we got the green light to go home.

Alhamdulillah, she is doing well and playing like before. She is, however, still wary of her brother coming near the ironing board. Nowadays the iron goes straight to a 'safe shelf' after Minan finishes using it.

I am very much thankful to Him that Sadia is fine. On hindsight, it could be worse. Little Saeif could be the one getting hurt. Or the impact of the hit could be more forceful. God forbid.

Divine intervention is the most powerful thing one can always rely and pray on.

Yes, accident does happen. We just have to be extra vigilant and less distracted next time.

Greetings from Dubai!

Dear friends and family,

I am happy to report that my family and I have safely settled into our new quaint home in Dubai. Located in the heart of town near to The Dubai Mall (TDM), it makes life easier to adjust when you have the requisite amenities, facilities and escapades right at your fingertips. Notwithstanding the notorious summer heat that is slowly building up, the new living arrangement sure beats having to drive around and find groceries with two small children adapting to an alien environment along with you. Or the sheer feat of crossing the big road in this dry heat with two kids just to get to the other side where the mall operates.

Thus, I have a lot to be thankful for. In a word, Alhamdulillah.

So what if it only boasts a one bedroom? It is big enough for me and my family and provides us with a much welcome security. I just love the view of the Dubai Fountain with its spectacular and theatrical water shows everyday and the twinkling lights from the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa (Burj means Tower) in the background.

My life has been one helter-skelter in the run-up to the departure date to DBX. With the bad flu hitting the whole family, packing for the move had been slow and taken a back seat to tending to the kids. Health-wise, I wasn't up for clearing the things up as well. But everything came through in the end as we learned to prioritize what was needed to be done and settled first. The rest will be settled once my husband goes back again to Malaysia for meetings.

By the end of first week in 'Arabland' - as Sadia calls it - I had gradually gotten used to what was expected of me here. Save for conditioning our skins to the scorching sun, things are now slowly in place. Physically and metaphorically. Predictably, we had to cover some major expenses going into the new home. Mind you, a lot of things are needed in an unfurnished house.

Home amenities already available include a kitchen stove, microwave and conventional ovens, a refrigerator, a dishwasher and a washing cum dryer machine. Oh yeah, there is also a jacuzzi nestled at a corner of the patio. Hubby had already purchased a sofa bed, coffee and dining tables, two dining chairs and a king-size bed before he left for Malaysia to pick us up. We were more than relieved when we finally got a television for the apartment last Thursday, installed it on Saturday and set the cable tv (called 'Du') up last Monday.

15 boxes and two carpets also arrived during the first week on Wednesday, after a delay of four days when problems arose with respect to the missing documents from the Malaysian shipping counterpart. All the boxes have been unpacked, except for the playpen and a toddler car seat.

On hindsight, I should have brought more diapers, baby toiletries and babywipes as they are expensive here and more food stuff like my favourite Nescafe Tarik 3-in-1 mix. Hopefully hubby can bag those along when he goes back next time for a meeting or two.

As far as my first impression of Dubai goes, I have to agree with my other half that it is very much like KL, but with a variety of abaya style, Arab headgear and 'Kandura' (long white cloak) worn by Arab nationals (see here for further explanation on a typical UAE wardrobe choice). Moreover, there is a varying degree of conservatism opted by Arab women with respect to the covering of their face (Burqa-like) encompassing the closure of the face, save for a slit for the eyes, or a total coverage of the face area with a piece of black diaphanous cloth called Gishwa. Other Arab ladies do wear the headscarf like some Malaysian ladies, covering up to their shoulders and wearing appropriate Western-style clothes. In short, a whole gamut of fashionwear - from the elaborate designs of the Abayas to the decolletage-revealing summer dresses) can be found under one roof in a Dubai mall! (Like my twin used to say, those 'kemban' type of maxi dresses that caused an uproar in KLCC are de rigueur at least in TDM area.)

Yes, Dubai is a cosmopolitan with a twist. Indian nationals drive the cabs here and most of them reside in an area called Karama, which I have yet to venture into. Expats galore crawl the city centre, and more are coming back after the financial crisis that hit UAE early this year. In fact, the city's population consists more of expats and other nationals as opposed to Arabs. Beside Indians, a noticeable demographic are Filipinos who work in the service and F&B industries. They are practically everywhere and usually reside an hour's drive away in UAE's third largest emirate called Sharjah. They are hired mainly due to their proficiency in English, as compared to those from other 'able-and willing' developing countries.

Since we came here, Filipinos have always mistaken us as one of them and proceeded to converse with us in Tagalog. Hubby once quipped that we might as well learn Tagalog because it beats explaining to them that we are not Filipinos!

Another thing needs getting used to is the high cost of living that often accompany when one choose to stay in an Expat Central like Dubai. Food and Beverage are a tad expensive and so is the grocery spending. Probably it is because we have yet to try and shop in a hypermarket like HyperPanda and Carrefour.

But I love the fact that many types of food are on offering here, ranging from Taco Bell, Krispy Creme, Garrett's caramel PECAN popcorn, Chicago's Deepdish pizza, to my favourite chocolate macaron at Paul cafe (see here for an extensive list of Paul branches in UAE).

And Tania, don't worry, there's a Laduree opening up soon in TDM. Let's go there for a tete-a-tete when you are in town. As for Amy, an upstanding network of Caribou Coffee from Minneapolis assures me that you won't miss home when you come and visit us here. Casual ambience, hubby likens it to San Francisco coffee back in Malaysia, from which he gets his staple of Americano some mornings.

Naim would also like the fact that Au Bon Pain exists here in this grandiose desert, awash with memories of our past excursions in downtown Chicago area. However, I must warn her - widely known for her pet peeve of inefficient service - that the service is 'Pain'fully slow and leaves a lot to be desired. But nonetheless I still enjoy my Mocha Blast. Ina dear, the keen observer and book enthusiast would love whiling the time away at a favourite chocoholic hangout (Godiva, maybe?) and Kinokuniya, both in TDM respectively. My longtime friend Rizby is more of a shutterbug and would probably spend the time snapping photos of interesting attractions and nooks in TDM (The Gold Souk (Market), the larger-than-life Aquarium, the indoor Waterfall, and THE Dubai Fountain).

And my dear twin sister, Nina must love all the designer bags that line up the Fashion Court of TDM and run amok at the Monsoon boutique! Younger sister Dikya can relive her 'Felicity' days by heightening her sensation at Dean & DeLuca cafe, and spend an inordinate amount of time looking at toiletries at a Boots pharmacy. My eldest, Kak Long on the other hand would rather be looking at furniture and other interior designs at either PotteryBarn or Crate & Barrel.

There you have it guys. The interesting and fun scope of my life in the next three years. Malls, connoisseurship and people watching. And God willing, there would be travels in it as well, be it in the Arab peninsula and farther outside the region. Budget, kids and old age permitting, of course.

A New Year Has Dawned

The sound of a rapid succession of fireworks echoing through the air fills me with a sense of nostalgia. Remembering the bygone years when a new year means a list of resolutions in earnest and a long-winding phone call to my beloved. Fast forward six years later, I'm keeping vigil in the bedroom with minimal lighting whilst my babies are fast asleep and my husband is burrowing his head inside a favourite book. A great many things have changed and, as can be expected, with them come sacrifices and casualties of a former lifestyle.

When Sadia entered into the picture a few years back, I had trouble grappling with the fact that there were now three of us in the household. I remember how I became engulfed with new responsibilities and duties and wondered whether I was cut out for motherhood. I was overwhelmed with the changes that seemed to hit me in the face like a tight slap. I had naively thought that somehow having a baby would adapt to my way of life, instead of the other way around. I remember not being prepared, mentally, emotionally and physically. And yet, despite and because of the misgivings and hiccups, I love Sadia with all my heart. Her doe-eyed expression, her cheeky laugh and adorable babbling are the highlights of my day.

Now that she's a toddler, I have to admit she does have a way (or many) of grating my nerves. I find myself sniggering and nodding in agreement to an observation which I stumbled upon at Babycentre where it describes a mother usually longs for her child's baby years as they seem relatively easier in comparison to the challenging, stressful and headache-prone toddler years. Without a doubt, Sadia's tantrums have predictably gotten worse in concurrence with the arrival of her cherubic baby brother.

Remember I wrote that I was afraid that I might forget the smell of Sadia's hair and lose out having to devote more time on the new baby? Well, it is funny how things you wish wouldn't happen, happen anyway. A self-fulfilling prophecy, if you may. I was so caught up in taking care of Saeif - bonding with him and getting so attached - that I had neglected Sadia in the process. Poor Sadia. It was my dear husband who pointed this out to me, and I'm forever grateful to him for opening my eyes to the painful truth. How Sadia was trying to vie for my attention and getting me involved in her activities, but I kept using Saeif, on a subconscious level, as an excuse to get away from my other responsibilities. How I cried buckets when the realization seeped into my conscience.

From that moment on, I resolved to spend more time with Sadia and avoid neglecting her when she wanted me to engage in plays, readings and other recreations. I have two kids now and accordingly, the adjustment to my life begins yet again. And how their unique and differing personalities endear them to me more.


As for Saeif, he is a cheerful and friendly infant who loves the company of people. Unlike his big sister, he readily smiles and warms up easily to others. There are both a pro and a con to this, however; Pro - I can leave him to willing and helpful individuals while I attend to other matters. Con - He wants me around him or gives him a ride on Mama's taxi if there is no other people attending to him. This translates to a difficult time to go over domestic chores. Therein lies my stress factor, and coupled with a clingy toddler, my hands (and time) are always full.

Indeed, my life is full of irony. I always tell myself I love adventures and new things. However, when it comes to changes - unavoidable and expected - around me, I tend to slacken and languish in my assumed roles. In a way, I do hate changes since they impose a new set of rules that I'm not familiar with from which I must learn quickly in order to adapt or suffer the consequences.

Another big change came late last year - Sunday, November 22nd to be exact - when my family and I finally moved from our seemingly small yet cosy apartment to a two-storey house on the other far side of town. As unrelenting as I could possibly be, I predictably discovered avenues to complain about the new living arrangement. Mosquitoes galore, slow water pressure on the second floor of the house, and noisy renovation works from adjacent houses were among the gripes that left me annoyed and wretched.

Luckily it was the school holidays and my dear eldest sister was around to assist me in getting used to the new place - unpacking clothes and kitchenwares and bringing her kids to play with mine - particularly when my other half was seconded to a major project at work which required him to work late for a long period at the office. She and her children were heavensent! They made the transition period much more easier to handle.

Last but certainly not least, a big hearty thank-you goes to my other half who, despite a busy schedule and a demanding project deadline, managed to slot in time to pack for the new house, assembled the beds and other furniture on arrival and even cooked Laksa Sarawak for a small housewarming cum doa selamat gathering a week after.

Over all, 2009 has been a tumultuous year with the first half year saw me waddling along with my watermelon-size tummy and stressing over the arrival of the stork and how I will cope, and the second half had me getting used to the concept of 'four' at home, stressing over a brother's looming wedding and moving to our new house.

Many lessons learned came and went as I turned 35 at the end of the year, among which were (1) Mirroring Obama's buzzword, life is all about CHANGE. One has better go with the flow, or risk being drowned by strong undercurrents. (2) Something's gotta give. Don't expect everything will be status quo after you embark on a change. For instance, after getting married, do behave like you're married. After having a kid or more, do act like you have kids. The same has to be said about writing too. (3) Be at your own peril once you decide to swim against the indomitable current of change. Massive disappointment, heartaches and/or bitterness will ensue. (4) Be less selfish, less self-absorbed and more focused. (5) Those obdurate in embracing change must not be meddled with, as experience has shown, it is best to leave them to their own devices. It is for the sake of your sanity and blood pressure to let them be. They're an incorrigible lot, after all. Sigh. (6) When you thought you have people figured out, the fixed formulas that you made up in your head about them turned out to be grossly wrong. You stand corrected. (7) Pigeonholing people might save you the trouble of digging below the surface, but people deserve to be heard no matter what their station in life. (8) Friendship is still possible to be forged at this age!

With the new year only ten days old, I muse over what is in store for me and pray to Allah for a more peaceful, happier and healthier time for me and my whole family. A healthy dose of patience, retrospection and good deeds are in the cards, God willing. Here's to a wonderful decade for everyone!

Of Anamcara and Wedded Bliss

I haven't updated as much as I would want to. Nowadays, life revolves mostly on the kids and the big change in my life - we have finally moved house. I will write more on that when time permits. For now, I'm sneaking a post as it behooves me to at least record this momentous period in my life. For the sake of posterity.

Yesterday, a Hari Raya Haji, coincided with my five-year wedding anniversary. Yes, it is still in the ONE digit territory, but a significant moment nonetheless.

It is safe to say that we have learnt so much from one another in this short span than what we have had known from years before getting married and as close friends. At least, that's how I feel. As the saying goes, you only know your partner - sometimes a little too well - when you start living with him.

The five-year mark echoes this belief fervently and reinforces my philosophy that one needs to maintain an open line of communication in order to get the message across.

An endearing someone once told me that I should thank my lucky stars to marry my own best friend with whom I am able to talk about anything under the sun. Somebody that I could let my guard down and let go of false pretenses. While I am grateful to find an anamcara (soulmate) that completes the puzzle, I still have to learn to walk deftly and graciously along the fine (tight) line that separates respect to one's friend and that to one's spouse.

For instance, there are certain things which I might pour out messily and emotionally to a friend that I would not tell a spouse. However, since the line is blurred in my situation, I have no way of knowing whether I have made a right decision in telling my dear husband. So for us, it is a matter of trial and error, such it should be with other areas of a person's life. You learn from your mistakes and resolve to bring the damage under control whenever possible.

While life has currently been a mad rush from one place to another now that we have a house to fill and a cherubic baby boy by our side, I am glad that we have taken some quiet moments to reflect on what makes us tick and what makes us fall to pieces.

Thanks Ying for the wonderful, memorable, life-changing five years of conjugal bliss and I pray for our continuing happiness and longevity in this beautiful union alongside our equally beautiful children. Thank you dearest for loving your idealistic yet loutish wife who is prone to histrionics. :)

Here's a song that comes to mind (those fainthearted are strongly advised to skip this part lest they feel queasy to the stomach :D ) :



You're Still the One ~ Shania Twain

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

(Bridge)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby