Tea-totaller

One of the rulings in Islam is the forbiddance of alcohol consumption. Or as it is said in Arabic 'Haram'. However, a proviso applies in such a case of medicinal import or medical emergency. This set of emergencies includes a case of hypothermia and any health-related scenario which compels the imbibing of alcohol-laden beverages. Also, if you are in a state of national emergency like famine, drought or war and alcoholic drinks are the last thing available to quench your thirst and aid in your survival, then you are allowed to consume these spirits.

Contrary to some skeptics and opponents, Islam is not so unreasonable in its principles and beliefs. God knows best the extent of human beings' capability and endurance.

I had weighed the pros and cons of this particular musing. First, it might carry undertones of a self-righteous prig. Second, it might hurt the sensibilities of some readers. Third, this entry is solely to represent my opinion and to share my experience.

In the end, I decided, without much mental anguish and dilemma, to follow through with this discourse and gratify my desire to monologuing.

An idealist by nature, I was initially shocked by the exposure to Muslim drinking revellers.

It was during my collegiate time. I didn't know Bring Your Own Food/Own Drink party constituted slugging down Budweiser longnecks, vodka and other ungodly concoctions.

I should have known - considering the background of some of these students. But I had thought they'd practice some restraints when being amongst other Muslims (their younger brethrens) as a show of respect to the others that strongly followed this belief.

From then onwards, I had become numbed and insouciant with these kinds of stories.

That was until a 'relatively' close friend of mine (who has now been rendered an ex-friend) divulged her own 'wantings' of an alcoholic variety.

During a getaway trip and while driving, she almost salivated when uttering "Oh, how a vodka would do me good right now".

I was petrified by such confession which was borderline on the alcoholic. I know she was a 'tad bit' liberal but that was a definitive moment where we part company.

When she wanted to indulge in a holiday drunkardness, I finally made my stand - if you want to do so, you can do without me. And she didnt - I think for the most part due to a lack of quorum to have a 'jolly good time'.

When we had a falling out some time later which I attribute to her temporary lapse into insanity, I now speculate if it was the lack of alcohol in her system that had caused it. Hmmmm..........

As for other third parties' account that I have come across, the impression that drinking is synonymous with the yuppie culture (educated overseas or otherwise) was turned upside down during my first person encounter with someone who is not from the yuppie set and who had been drinking since she was 16.

Whether it was out of confession or showing off, I was too appalled to question her motives when she told me this next - that she quitted (which was quite recently - about 2-3 years ago and she is now almost in her mid-30s) because she couldn't get drunk anymore. In other words, the tolerance level was so high that she couldn't make herself get drunk.

However, I do give her credit for not straying from her resolve not to drink anymore. At least, that's what she told me and given her current circumstances, I'm giving her the benefit of my doubt.

I admit I am naive to let this judgement call hampering my pursuit of congenial and interesting acquaintances. But I am only human. As long as they don't ask me to partake in such acitvity , don't label me unfairly as uncool for not doing the same or don't relish in their drunkard hour stories, I am cool about being chummy with these yuppie or non-yuppie crowds.

On the flip side, if they don't think I'm cool enough for their lifestyle, well, tough! Aufwedershein!

Pet Peeves Part 2

Recovering from my post-anniversary euphoria, I am more than ready to plunge head-on into the second instalment of my pet peeves.

It is without much ado relates to societal living.

Social graces. Social etiquette. Social deportment. What-have-you.

Not one whom others might consider graceful, I plan to attack this matter from a different angle. Mainly from the point of view of conversation, salutation and public conduct. In other words, socio-behavioural.

I am taking the lead from Ms Fran Lebowitz, American's great social satirist and humourist whose socio-cultural observations are quite deliciously sardonic and funny in turn.

As one grows older, one realises those public decorum lectures sounded off by one's elders have now become logical and practical for dissemination. In a way, one is grateful for the indelible mark (or scar) being imprinted on one's brain. Social conduct is indeed a significant matter to fuss over in this material world.

First of, I am quite peeved when someone whom I know is suffering or lacking certain station in his or her lives having to bear a group conversation of that very taboo subject. This happens despite the nitwit loquacious person (in the said conversation) having the knowledge of that hapless person's current predicament. Confused yet?

Let's say this guy whom you know is having problem of the reproductive kind but your wife who knows quite well about this matter didn't care to practice her discretion by talking about babies and how someone she knows is expecting triplets, etc, etc.

And for instance, your girlfriend who is not yet married but probably has plans to, cringing while listening about this and that friend making wedding plans or mulling over the name of a new baby.

One exception to this rule is when that person herself or himself asks you about the particular taboo matter. Then, it is considered appropriate to yap about the subject, however a point of caution applies - always talk in a LESS excitable manner or be as nonchalant as you can.

Another irritating habit that I have observed of people revolves on the attendance of functions. Imagine this - a couple is attending a formal function like a sit-down hotel wedding and a friend or colleague or acquaintance of the husband only makes an effort to talk to the husband and not to the wife!

This is even more chronic and not to mention confounded, when the friend is a woman, the same species with the wife! Of course this applies to the husband as well when the table has turned with the wife's male friend striking a conversation only with her. But the former scenario is more apparent, at least judging from my consensus.

The situation turns more grating when the so-called friend keeps asking for the husband - what seems like every 5 minutes - to ask a question or make a comment. When the wife asked the husband what it is all about, within earshot of that friend, this awkward behaviour already constitutes a strong hint to include her (the wife) in the conversation to which that inane friend should have taken heed. But no, she kept on going like a clueless blonde and avoiding any eye contact with the wife. What a twerp (though I have other adjectives in mind)! Something is definitely amiss there. At least, in that nonexistent brain of hers.

The same thing applies when, bumping into each other, a friend/acquaintance of one half of a couple only greets hello to one half of the couple without acknowledging the other half's existence. As if the other half is not present or suddenly rendered invisible. The least a person could do is to smile at the other half, even if the person doesn't know the other half.....yet.

Another point of aggravation on the public front is when a person is in the midst of withdrawing money from the ATM machine and the person behind will stand too close for comfort and try his best to take a peek at the person's transaction or if lucky, his account balance. This heinous act is not intended in any way to represent a plot to hatch a public mugging but just the curious nature of a socially inept person who makes it his/her business to know everything about ANYbody. It is as if the triumphant sight of someone else's fiscal composition gives him a thrill. Get a life!

And there is a matter of queuing to pay at a check-out counter. A person will feign seeing a long line and cut queue by going to the front of the cashier. He or she will proceed with this act as long as the others do not make any noise. But the worst of this kind are those who become deaf even when the other shop patrons behind him/her clamor for justice. This is a frequent occurence when only one or two persons are behind him/her in line.

I notice a common thread in all these social provocations. It lies in ignoring a person's presence OR a person's misfortunes in order to gain something for oneself.

This reminds me of an 'office worker' who purposely left me out of the prospect of attending a meeting and discuss about this meeting in another language so as to ruffle my feathers, so to speak.

For this lack of social deportment, I have this to say to myself, it is probably her/his 'station in life' or 'innate malevolent psyche' that compels her/him to behave in such a vicious, inconceivable manner.

And when all else fails in rectifying or controlling the damage of these social misconducts, I will carry on in a manner not dissimilar to theirs. Ignore the person in public or in some instances, in a private realm such as work.

Anniversary on the horizon

I've decided to chuck my irreverent list of pet peeves for this entry and indulged instead on a more forthcoming subject.

My first wedding anniversary.

This Sunday marks our first wedding anniversary and heralds another chapter of exciting and impetuous times ahead.

The year has its share of ups and downs, laughters and cries, silences and uproars.

I would be remiss if I did not admit that living with my partner has taught me some things about life. It has also aspired me to be a better person, for my sake and his sake.

Like any normal conjugal bonds, there was a period of adjustments to the other person's way of thinking, living condition and other surprising habits. And of course, with any formidable partnerships come the compromises and sacrifices.

My love story was one of friendship turning into love.

Pre-marriage, I often wonder if I had missed anything not experiencing the so-called wooing stage like those people going on awkward first few dates or those followers and proponents of the 'love-at-first-sight movement'.

Then, I got hitched and understood the kindness and caring that dovetail with love. It was like experiencing a wooing period for the first time.

My husband was quite reserved and 'practical' with his display of affection before we were married. It was a nice 360 degrees surprise after we tied the knot.

For this, I find myself grateful for the attention and fondness he bestowed on me.

However, it wasn't that smooth a sailing during the adaptive first-year period.

There were things that I didn't agree with that had caused heartaches and headaches to us both.

My husband's relenting and assenting to my views prompted me to realign and adjust my rather intractable stance.

It was however an adjustment on quite a scanty scale. I know I'm quite a slow learner. Or as my husband said it best, 'My learning curve is on the inverse."

His patience to my uncompromising and at times childish nature was at first unnerving and thereafter soothing.

I was grateful to this person whom I had called a friend first.

Our long and bittersweet history together has made us who we are today. We have come to understand what makes us tick, weep and tick off.

Despite the distance and time that had separated us in the interim to the wedding date, we have grown to love one another even more. Absence does make the heart grow fonder!

A firm believer in soul mates, I had this keen intution that I found mine the moment I met my husband in 1992. You could say that was my own 'brand' of love-at-first-sight.

Though it took some time to come to where we stand today, it was a worthwhile journey (albeit the emotional barbwires and boobytraps along the way).

What doesn't break us, makes us even stronger.

On this beautiful day we'd become husband and wife, thanks my love for the cherished and idyllic times that we've spent.

Whimsical views

As I am quite a neophyte in this realm one calls Blog, I am obliged to partake in a short introduction of my persona.

Half of a twin, I am married to someone of the twin sign - Gemini and currently pregnant with my first child.

The anticipated arrival of my first child is an event in itself. As the bump on my stomach protrudes further, my impending motherhood role looms larger.

I am finding myself increasingly ambivalent of my abilities to rear a child, let alone bring a child into this world.

However, my supportive husband has been a great anchor in helping me wade through my highs and lows.

And of course, religion plays a significant part in bringing me back to my senses and keeping me grounded.

And I should give myself some credit too. I've realised that I'm now old enough to be able to handle a host of responsibilities.

First of firsts, as I grow older and as of the middle of this year, officially sprout some white hair, I come to a more keen and well-defined realisation of things, events, people and circumstances that tick me off.

Call it my list of pet peeves and this blog is dedicated to my first pet peeve.

Malaysian drivers.

Yes, many have attempted to discuss and pontificate on this subject matter and I can vouch most of them have come out feeling much better after their fair share of ranting on ghastly Malaysian motorists.

As a concerned (and victimised) citizen, it behooves me to delineate the gruesome nature of some (or you can call it 'the majority') of these drivers.

Malaysian drivers are notorious for these obvious reasons (which markedly surprise me that those in authorities have failed to take more stringent actions):
a) They change lane at the VERY last minute without switching on their signal or indicator light
b) They assume that the other motorists are mind readers and will be able to anticipate their next inane move
c) They drive on the rightmost lane at a snailpace and refuse to budge to the middle lane due to their over-inflated egos despite incessant flashing and honking by the driver behind and in spite of a long queue that has formed due to his or her slowpaced driving. (This rings more true if the slow driver is a man and the rear driver is a woman)
d) When a driver signals to switch to the next lane (right or left), the driver behind will not give way and will instead drive faster to NOT let the person in.
e) This mentality in turn leads to the non-signalling culture as explained in a).
f) Drivers tend to take their own sweet time going out of a parking space even though a long line has formed due to one driver waiting for him/her to get out of the parking space.
I had my share of these and the most memorable one happened when one ladydriver was engaged in a sort of pre-driving insane ritual which involves checking and re-touching her makeup, combing her hair, and drinking water before decided to give me, this hapless driver, her parking spot.
g) Drivers who always think they are right despite being in the contrary state. One recent incident took place when I was signalling right to park my car and this driver out of nowhere was speeding behind me and almost hit my car. And then he had the gall to come out of his car and blamed me for almost causing an accident. Hello! I signalled to park. He looked a tad dazed, almost stoned. Probably he was. That nitwit. And just because I was a girl, he decided he could harass me. He was going on that he was driving at a safe speed and said I was wrong to suddenly go into park mode when I decided to wind up the window and let him talk to himself.
h) Drivers that proceeded to drive even after the light has turned red on the foolish notion that the drivers from the opposite traffic light will take a short breather to let him or her pass. This has caused an alarming number of unnecessary and avoidable accidents at city and suburb junctions.
i) While driving on country or state roads, drivers who are under the influence of their ego or alcohol or having a temporary lapse of judgment or plainly speaking - temporarily insane, will attempt to overtake huge and bulky vehicles (lorries, trucks) in front of them, at the expense of drivers from the opposite direction having to inch away to any space available - like dirt road or the guardrail - in order to avoid a head-on collision.

There you are - my list of peevish traits of Malaysian drivers.
Due to this impertinent state of affairs, I regretfully confess that I have also become an aggressive driver myself. That is the sad part but that's life - when you can't beat them you join them. Just make sure your driving license is still valid!